Sunday, February 10, 2008

Losing Lists, Dante’s Circles & Emergency Supplies

Since last week was crazy-crazy–that’s crazy-times-two-squared–I made a list of all the things I could write about, but then promptly lost it. No surprise there, but then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if my list didn’t inadvertently get stuck in that last batch of pages I sent off to Dante’s inner circle of hell–known by non-publications advisers as The Yearbook Plant.

Maybe my list will so amuse them, they won’t notice I’m seven pages short. Yeah right, when pigs fly.

But let’s get on with the important stuff.

I could try to remember and then reconstruct my list, but the thought of that, quite frankly, makes my head explode. So since we’re sort of on a Pizza Andy roll with his fan-tab-u-lous scholarship and 15 minutes of fame with the Dallas Morning News story, let’s see if we can stand one more Pizza Andy story…

When the Dallas Morning News came to shoot him–I guess we should say “came to take his photograph”–we all were chatting it up with the photographer and one thing led to another and then another until we arrived on a discussion of “Things that could be found in Andy’s backpack.” (You know how fond I am of things.)

Now, you really didn’t think his backpack contained normal things like pens, paper, map colors, did you?

Here’s just a glimpse…

  • a pocket U.S. Constitution “just in case” –And, no, I’m not exactly sure when one would need to whip out one’s pocket Constitution, but I can only assume that if one really needed a copy of the Constitution, one would really, really, really need a copy. And then, that day would be a crazy-crazy-crazy-times-a gajillion-squared-kind-of-day. I’m thinking we’d have to create a 10th circle of hell.
  • an “emergency” complete Star Wars DVD set minus Episode 6 which he lent to a teacher who also apparently has Andy’s life-size cut-out of Princess Leia (and, no, you really don’t want to know), and no, I’m not exactly sure what constitutes a “Star Wars Emergency” either.
  • a Fred Thompson campaign flyer.
  • a Yoda key chain
Now, if you think all of that borders on the bizarre, I have another kid in my photo class who–no matter what you ask for–can whip it out of her purse. I call it the Mary Poppins bag.

She wants to be on staff next year.

Something tells me she’ll fit right in.


Anonymous said...

Um, it's kinda spelled "Leia", but who really cares.

Anonymous said...

The kid's got taste. I mean, there are plenty of times for a Star Wars emergency. But he'd better get Episode 6 back, which is Return of the Jedi. I think he could get through life without Episode 1, but not Episode 6.

Now, what I want to ask Pizza Andy aka Father Ronaldus is what version the Star Wars DVDs are. I mean, there's the original, not touched by the edits, or did he get the reedited versions, or maybe the Japanese versions? Inquiring minds, and all. I mean, he gets serious points if he actually got an unremastered version of Episodes 4-6. In which case, Pizza Andy better go and demand his Episode 6 back, because I'm pretty sure in his pocket Constitution, it says someplace about keeping those safe. (Ok, I made that up, the US Constitution really doesn't cover Jedi, Sith Lords, or original versions of Star Wars, but by golly, it ought to).

And yeah, it's spelled "Leia."

They're not of the Body! Landru! Landru!

Anonymous said...

Um, it's kinda spelled "Leia", but who really cares.

I care.

(I couldn't resist the line)

askthehomediva said...

OK, OK, OK… I'm taking a beating here. Of course, we care about the spelling of Leia. I guess I lost my mind. It's duly noted, AND I corrected the post so as not to have some sort of Star Wars attack… I'm not sure if it's politically correct to correct the post, but… I guess this constitutes a Star Wars EMERGENCY and the rules are suspended and thus the post will be corrected.

Anonymous said...

Alas, I but have the reedits of episodes 4-6, the one where at the end of ROTJ, it looks like hayden christensen got lost on his way to the deli and accidentally wound up next to Yoda and Ben. Travesty of travesties.
And yes, I believe there is an amendment in the Counstitution that says something about "Separation of Force and state."