Fuzzies, Recruiting and Hair Bows

We might as well clear the air here. I never have nor will I ever be one of those warm fuzzy teachers. It’s not something I’m terribly proud of, but it’s something I’m honest about. It is what it is, and I am what I am, and no, I’m not going to start my recitation of that Sam-I-am-that-Sam-I-am- Green-Eggs-And-Ham-thing (although I could).

At any rate, be thankful that my calling places me squarely at the high school level, not at the elementary school level where such things as warm fuzzies are required as well as perfectly coiffed hair complete with hair bows, an array of matching themed outfits and those really, really cute bulletin boards with laminated stuff and stickers. –All of which I am 100 percent absolutely no good at–particularly the hair thing.

And, no, this post isn’t going to turn into a confessional of my many shortcomings, but rather, a way to introduce you to this thing we call “recruiting.” Yep, we’re smack dab in the midst of recruiting and we’re not talking sports here. Counselors are running around, corralling kids and branding–no wait, make that signing them up for their courses for next year. In the mix, stand all the electives competing for those paltry few hours of openings. (Don’t ya just hate it when all that math, science and English nonsense gets in the way of a good elective? Sigh.)

All this recruiting stuff just reminds me how unfuzzy I really am–except maybe my brain which seems to get a bit more fuzzy as the years advance (and, yes, I am rapidly approaching my 51st birthday). Oh Jeez, I’m off task again. Sorry. Back to recruiting…

To be on the newspaper or yearbook staff, the kids must fill out an application, be interviewed and have their references checked. As you know from reading this blog, student publications definitely are not for the weak of heart or spirit. It takes a special kind, a specific mix. I’m always honest with them about my unfuzziness and I expect for potential staffers to be honest about themselves. I also expect their references to be honest, too.

I thought you might appreciate my teacher reference questionnaire. It’s a 10 item/10 point scale. Of course, my favorite is No. 9. (Now, is that really any surprise?)

Here it goes…

Richie’s Teacher Evaluation Sheet

Directions: The student listed above has applied for either newspaper or yearbook publications staff. We take our publications seriously and only want the best staff members. These staff members must be reliable, responsible and honest. Integrity is extremely important. Of course, we expect for them to talk and write in complete sentences, not to pick their nose in public or otherwise act in a manner that would cast dispersions upon our fine student newspaper or yearbook. With all that in mind, please fill out the rating sheet below. Rankings range from 1 to 10 with 10 being the best possible score.

1. Trustworthy…I could leave a $5 bill on my desk and it would still be there when I returned.

2. Dependable…Would rather walk barefoot over hot coals than miss a deadline.

3. Communication…For the most part can like talk in complete sentences like without saying like ya know a whole lot or with alotta likes and stuff.

4. Angelic…This kid is right up there with Mother Teresa. Never, ever in trouble.

5. Boy Scout…This kid is always prepared for class and ready to go.

6. Quality of work…This kid produces some of the best work I have ever seen.

7. Interpersonal skills…This kid gets along well with their peers.

8. Self-motivated…You will not have to personally adopt this child to ensure that they complete their work.

9. Annoying factor…This kid will not put rubber cement boogers up his/her nose or do anything else that will make you want to set your hair on fire and run screaming from the building.

10. Overall, how would you rate this kid?

So, there you have my teacher evaluation sheet. And, yes, I really do use it, and yes, it does work.

And now, do you see why I don’t own any hair bows?