189th Carnival of Education!

Ta-da! The 189th Carnival of Education is up and running and hosted over at Thomas J. West Music. (Does that mean we have to whistle while we read?) It has the very, very latest and best posts from around the EduSphere.

Now my entry “ARDs, CFCs & the Very Big Fat Purple Notebook Accommodations” was included, but you don’t have to go there to read it here. Once again, the Carnival is organized in a very reader friendly way. So what are you waiting for? Get carnivalling.

Oh, and btw, today was our first official “Tiara Tuesday.” The call came out from one of our computer teachers to proudly dust off our tiaras and wear them in honor of surviving the first three weeks of school, the first issuance of progress reports and a general overall good work/attitude of the kiddos.

Who knew there were so many closet Tiara wearers? --And you know, I had mine on.

Now, if I can just find a tiara for the chicken to wear…

ARDs, CFCs & the Very Big Fat Purple Notebook Accommodations

Editorial warning…If you don’t have a sense of humor and/or you are a card-carrying member of the Richie Hata’s Club, you should just stop reading now. (And don’t be like those who ignored the dire warnings about Hurricane Ike, refused to follow the mandatory evacuation orders and then expected a speedy-quick rescue. Nope. If you take life too seriously, just move on off.)

Last week as I walked back to my classroom, I bumped into a rather exasperated teacher friend who had just left an ARD meeting. Let’s just say every single facet of life contains those who work the system, take advantage of assistance meant for others and drive the rest of us CFC.

And no, I’m not talking about chlorofluorocarbons or blaming the ozone and global warming (although I probably could, given the current political climate). No siree, Missy. I’m talkin’ about being driven Crack Fire Crazy!

So it should come as no surprise that there are people out there who work the educational system to their advantage. I offered some consoling words to my teacher peep and headed back to class to start first period. But before I could finish taking roll, a very pleasant special education teacher delivered the Very Big Fat Purple Notebook and made me sign a sheet acknowledging its receipt and all the accommodations I must follow for the students listed therein.

And as I stuffed the Very Big Fat Purple Notebook under my desk… (Remember I’m trying to keep my desk clean, so now I’ve resorted to placing stacks of stuff under my desk. I know. I know. I know. Pretty sad.)…

Anyway, all of that got me to thinking about things. And everyone knows just how dangerous that can be for me (both in the thinking and things realm). But has that ever stopped me? No siree, Missy. So I got to thinking about what accommodations I would have in the Very Big Fat Purple Notebook if my name were in there.

Here’s what I came up with (with a little bit of help from my hall-monitoring, chicken-loving health teacher compadre).

The Very Big Fat Purple Notebook
Accommodations for Richie

Accommodation No. 5–Preferred Hours…Adjust my hours so I work 9 a.m. to noon. That specific time window finds me at my peak optimum performance and would ensure unparalleled success.

Accommodation No. 4–Extended Time…Allow modifications and extended time for any and all written materials required by the PTBs (Powers That Be). You know the kinds of things I’m talking about…things that choke the space on the top of my desk… No wait, make that the things that now clutter under my desk. Things like lesson plans, goals, objectives, in-service stuff, stuff I should grade, stuff I did grade, stuff I don’t want to grade, stuff I need to record, stuff I need to read, stuff that will get you fired…

Accommodation No. 3–Provide Outside Assistance…Allow me to leave my classroom in the midst of a lesson to run willy-nilly down the hall to consult with my peers when my carefully crafted lesson goes south.

Accommodation No. 2–Provide Peer Assistance…Provide a personal assistant to keep my desk organized and to maintain the ECD (Emergency Chocolate Drawer).

And, drum roll pah-leese, the No. 1 Accommodation in the Very Big Fat Purple Notebook–The Expresso Express… Daily delivery of Starbucks to my classroom specifically one Grande, Skinny 3-raw Sugar Latte to help me maintain my focus and steel my nerves for the day.

And hey while you’re at it, drop off a Tall Mocha Frappuccino to my hall-monitoring, chicken-loving health teacher compadre around the corner. I think she could benefit from an accommodation or two.

September 11

Ghosts whispering in the wind.

I have not forgotten you. I see your faces every day posted on my classroom wall. I read your profiles in Portraits of Grief to my class. I will never forget you. It is in the remembering and how we live our lives that we honor each and every life lost that day.

I will never forget.

188th Carnival of Education

Calling all EduSphere Carnies! The 188th Carnival of Education is out and hosted over at the Core Knowledge.

My post “Shooting, Organization & Things Overheard” was included, but you don’t have to go there to read it here. I have to rush off to work so I didn’t get a chance to read all the submissions so I can’t tell you my favorite posts like I did last week. However, the carnival format (again) is really reader-friendly. It’s organized in a class schedule format.

So what are you waiting for? Hop on over there so you’re up on all the buzz.

Shooting, Organization & Things Overheard

Well somehow we survived shooting more than 1,700 freshmen, sophomores and juniors.

Oh dear, I guess I should stop saying that. Let’s scratch that and start again.

Somehow we survived photographing more than 1,700 freshmen sophomores and juniors, but I think the Richie Hata’s Club grew exponentially in the process.

Despite spending hours on a nifty looking 3-page elaborate schedule that charted times and teachers outlining when they should bebop down to the auditorium with their students, the day pretty much was nothing more than unorganized chaos. All those teachers pretty much just took roll and then bebopped down to the auditorium when they felt like bebopping.

That all rather left me feeling like the guy in the song “Alice’s Restaurant” with his “twenty-seven 8-by-10 glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one” and no one to show them to. (I know. I know. I know. I should have learned my lesson from that whole Dante’s Circle of Hell incident.)

I might as well have tossed my nifty little schedule into the air, set my hair on fire and ran willy-nilly screaming out of the building. It took several trips to the ECD (Emergency Chocolate Drawer) and a rather hefty three raw sugar skinny latte to steel myself.

So much for organization.

Which, of course, at this point in my life, I’m beginning to think is way, way overrated. And which, of course, brings me to another dismal failure of mine–my desk.

I had planned to shoot a “before” picture of my desk which would clearly show its cleanliness and my new-found organizational skills in an attempt to silence the Naysaying Nellies. But sadly, by the time I got around to it, well, let’s just say I have to re-re-organize my desk just to get it back to its “before” greatness when I could actually see the brown formica.

I have this feeling that Challenge #1 of the “Richie’s Full Blown 5 -alarm Fun-Filled Educational Challenge” isn’t going to be so fun-filled especially since we’ve only completed Week #2.

Well, enough about me. This blog normally focuses on my kiddos. So now that school is back in session and my DIs (Darling Inspirations) have returned, let’s take a quick sneaky peak into the “Things Overheard & I Can’t Believe You Actually Said That” Category…

Things Overheard #1…
newspaper photo editor… “What did I do with my pants?”
me yelling from across the room… “Pants! What do you mean, ‘What did you do with your pants?’ There better be pants!”
newspaper photo editor… “Calm down… I’m wearing a grass skirt.”

As if that explained everything. As if.


Things Overheard #2…
yearbook staffer… “So we have to sell three full pages of ads? So that means a full page ad is a full page?”


Things Overheard #3…
photography student… “What’s Labor Day?”
me… “It’s a day to honor workers.”
photography student… “Oh, I thought it had to do with mothers…”
me… “Oh my…”


Things Overhead #4…
(The yearbook staff has been working diligently trying to fine tune their yearbook theme after I nixed their theme word, “Essence.”)
me… “Essence is too girly. Sounds too much like perfume.”
them… “How about ‘Substance’?”
me… “So now we’re going to hand out crack with the yearbooks?”
them… “How about ‘Epitome’?”
me…“Oh, so now we’re the epitome of stupidity?”


There were a few more suggestions, but quite frankly, they made my head explode. We finally settled on “The Fine Print,” and I think that will do just fine.

So now, I guess I better get back to that whole desk cleaning thing…but first, I think I better check out the ECD again.

Carnival of Education

The Carnival of Education is here and you really need to go on over to Lead from the Start. The format is very clever--in a pre-K class--and includes everything that’s going on the EduSphere. When you’re done perusing the selections, you’ll be ready for a well-deserved nap and a snack.

My post “Fitness, 5-Alarm Educational Challenge & Emergency Chocolate” was included, but you don’t have to go there to read it here. Although I haven’t gone through all the posts (some of us have to go to work today), a few that caught my bleary eyes this morning were… OldAndrew’s definition of a teacher, Mrs. Bluebird’s not feeling the love and comments by Jose’ who was still able to be a bit mushy and philosophical.

Well, I’ve gotta run. Go check it out!

Fitness, 5-Alarm Educational Challenge & Emergency Chocolate

My ladies exercise class occasionally undertakes what we call a “Fitness Challenge.”

Now, boys and girls, the Fitness Challenge should not--I repeat not--be confused with being fitness-challenged. (Which, of course, I am, but that’s not the point.) In our Fitness Challenge, we come up with a few objectives, throw in a reasonable weight loss goal (like I promise to lose 6 ounces within 4 weeks (OK, OK, OK maybe it’s a tad bit more weight), and we devise proper punishment for failing to live up to the expectations and standards of the class. In our case, it’s a money jar. Each and every failure costs a one dollar fine to the money jar.

At the end of the challenge, we empty the money jar and rush speedy quick over to a nearby Mexican restaurant to consume mass quantities of food. Let’s just say that the dinner is usually on me (and not just on my shirt either). Now, I’m not sure about the wisdom in all of that, but it sure is fun.

Well, this Fitness Challenge thing got me to thinking about things. (I know, I know, I know. We all know that happens when I get to thinking, and we all know how I feel about things.)

So, I got to thinking that perhaps I should devise an Educational Challenge, you know, with objectives, goals and consequences. (I think some of you call those lesson plans, but no, silly, I’m not talkin’ about lesson plans here--although I probably ought to rustle up some of those before next week.)

No Siree, Missy. I’m talking about a full-blown 5-alarm Educational Challenge here, strictly not for the faint of heart or Richie hatas. So let’s get right to it. We don’t have a moment to lose. After all, we’ve got five days down and done, and only 172 more school days to go, but, hey, who’s counting? Nope, not me.

Richie’s Full Blown
5-alarm Fun-Filled Educational Challenge

Challenge #5…Can I have more chocolate, please?
I realize that this one directly undermines the whole Fitness Challenge thing (which probably explains why most of my paycheck ends up in the Fitness Challenge money jar), but ah well…

Challenge #5 is to give out more (what else?) chocolate prizes. Chocolate just sets the bar at a higher standard of fabulousness for the year. I gave out chocolate to one of my classes last week for prizes and one kid exclaimed, “I just love this class!”

Forget the AEDs (Automated External Defibrillators) located throughout the school, I now have an ECD.

As in Emergency Chocolate Drawer.

I think it’ll come in quite handy throughout the year. Don’t you?

Challenge #4…Increasing membership in the RFC--Richie Fan Club and decreasing membership in the RHC--the Richie Hata’s Club…
Now my principal (who by the way is a very, very nice guy) claims there isn’t such a thing as the RHC, but we all know there are teacher-types who like us (after all, what’s not to like about us?), and we all know, sadly, that there are naysaying hatas out there too. Hails Bails, isn’t that life in general? Still, we can all try and get along, can’t we?

Last year, I identified five charter members of the RHC. (There may have been a sixth one, but I’m not sure.) Despite those five, I still managed to win a few more hearts and minds… OK, OK, OK so it usually involved mass quantities of chocolate, a few StarBucks gift certificates and some favor trading on my part. But still, I think my fan base has grown a bit from last year.

HOWEVER…

…and don’t you just hate those “howevers”?…

With underclassmen photographs scheduled for next week (you do remember I’m the yearbook adviser, don’t you?), I have a feeling that picture day will most certainly significantly and most definitely negatively impact my fan base.

I guess I better fill up the ECD. I have a feeling I’m going to need it.

Challenge #3… Big Fat Stupid Head No More
OK, all you Naysaying Nellies can stop right now. I know I have made numerous proclamations and promises NOT to say Big Fat Stupid Head, and, of course, I have failed miserably. But let’s not be dreamkillers. Let’s see if we can get beyond our record of 92 days, 19 hours, 39 minutes and 15 seconds. Let’s not concentrate on our failures. If we did that, would we have put a man on the moon? Would post-it notes have been created? Would Michael Phelps have won his gazillion gold medals? Give me the dream. Let’s start up that counter again! Let’s reach for the stars! Let’s just see just how long we can make it through the year without once--audibly--uttering, “Big Fat Stupid Head!”

Ladies and gentlemen, start your counters!

Challenge #2… Do not be a bubblehead.
This sort of goes with Challenge #3. This year I will attempt to leave my thoughts in the bubble above my head and not say them. Verbalizing the thoughts in the bubble is bad. (You know what I’m talking about, or rather, what I shouldn’t be talking about.) So, everyone, repeat after me… “The bubble is bad. Verbalizing the bubble is very, very bad indeed.”

Now before we move onto our top challenge, we need to have a money jar and agree that violations of each and every challenge will cost us a dollar a pop.

OK, now on to Challenge No. 1… Can we have a drumroll pah-leese…

Challenge #1…Ta-da! Keep my desk clean
Every year I start school with a clean desk. I neatly sort through the piles of stuff and file them, toss them or hide them. OK, OK, OK so there’s a lot of hiding going on there, but at least at the start of the school year, I can actually see the brown formica of my desk. My paper clips rest neatly housed in their black desk organizer tray, multi-colored post-it notes are stacked in their special baskets and I have neatly labeled and color-coded my file folders to say things like “Hot File,” “Budget” and “Things That Will Get You Fired 2008-2009.”

If only life were so simple.

If only my desk would remain organized.

If only the desk gremlins would stay hidden at night.

If only.

I told you that emergency chocolate was going to come in handy.