Showing posts with label Pizza Andy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pizza Andy. Show all posts

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Audit Reports, Teacher In-Service & How Bozo Ended Up in Dante’s Circle of Hell

Ahh, the much ballyhooed (now, isn’t that a great word?) Dallas ISD $2 million audit report was finally released and no big shocker there.

According to an article in the Dallas Morning News, the report contained a long laundry list of reforms needed, but no indication of money stolen. The news article went on to say, though, that “the Texas comptroller’s office, the FBI and others have also reviewed the books and found serious areas of concern.”

I won’t bore you with all the details involved in that, but, of course, all of that got me to thinking about things like why I was grateful to be working where I work (sorry, Mr. Teacher), and it got me to remembering a time long, long ago, in a galaxy… oh my goodness Pizza Andy must be channeling through me…so forget the galaxy, but do make that a long, long time ago, when I actually was asked to teach at a professional development day for DISD. (Oh, pah-leese, no need to roll your eyes. It isn’t that much of a stretch, is it?)

So let me tell you my little story that I like to call…

How Bozo ended up in Dante’s Circle of Hell

My feet were as swollen as Bozo the clown’s feet, and I had a sneaking suspicion my hair didn’t look much better. It was Valentine’s Day, and for a number of reasons, it was a life-changing day. I was headed for Hillcrest High School in north Dallas zipping along North Central Expressway in my trusty blue mini-van.

I had taken the day off so I could teach an in-service for Dallas journalism teachers. I almost had turned it down given my penchant for in-service bashing, but I figured I could use the $400 and thought that, perhaps, just perhaps, I could actually impart some words of wisdom. So I stashed a bagful of newly created handouts and set out to discuss how to create a successful high school journalism program.

I called my session “Surviving Dante’s Inner Circle of Hell… how to create a successful high school journalism program and live to tell the tale…” or some such blustering.

My cleverness, as always, landed me in trouble.

When I arrived in my assigned portable building, there were a total of three—count ’em—three teachers attending my session. To make matters worse, they were all English teachers, not journalism teachers. None of them had read past “Surviving Dante” and believed we would actually discuss Dante’s Inferno. One teacher had even brought her own copy of the book.

At that point, I really believed I had entered the circle of hell. I was stuck for eight hours in a small room with three (did I mention three?) English teachers who were not even remotely interested in student publications much less the entire journalism program. Forget the Inferno, I had upgraded to Sartre’s No Exit.

I felt like the guy in the song “Alice’s Restaurant” with his “twenty-seven 8-by-10 glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one” and no one to show them to.

I had my 35 copies of my 14 specially created handouts to show eager new journalism advisers what had taken me more than a decade to discover. Instead, I had three beady-eyed, angry Advanced-Placement-type English teachers who were forced to sign up for an in-service class to garner enough mandatory hours to fulfill their teacher contracts when their peers were out buzzing around on Valentine’s Day eating chocolates with their honeys or shopping with their friends or sleeping late.

The experience was almost enough for me to swear that I would never again berate another in-service presenter if I could just survive that day. (Of course, that was too big of a promise for me to make.)

But overall, that experience did provide a level of clarity as to what my mother always called, “the state of education.” As with most professional development days, the topics tend to either be irrelevant or provided to those who have little or no use for them.

So you see, not only had I started that day looking like Bozo the Clown, I ended the day feeling, well, rather Bozo-ish as well.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Spelling Bees, Yearbook Fumes & Livin’ Large

As we speedy quick approach the end of the school year, I glanced through my half-finished, half-baked drafts of posts I started but got sidetracked and didn’t complete. (Kind of like all those lists I keep starting and losing and starting). So I’ve pieced together a montage for you to peruse. Hopefully, one of these little tidbits will spark a smile or two at a time of the year when things are so hectic.

Newspaper Deadlines & the Synchronized Spelling Bees

A conversation during our final newspaper deadline…

Me…
“Hey, quick, someone spell ‘competition’ for me. It just doesn’t look right.”

Pizza Andy & Jessica simultaneously & in perfect harmony… “Competition. C-O-M-P-E-T-I-T-I-O-N. Competition.”

One of them… “Hey, wouldn’t it be great if they had a synchronized spelling bee contest? You know, like synchronized swimming?”

Me… “What?”

Pizza Andy & Jessica simultaneously and in perfect harmony “Booger. B-O-O-G-E-R. Booger.”

Me & My Newspaper Editor Katelyn… simultaneously and in perfect harmony rolling our eyes.


Yearbook update…

So-o-o-o my 1,200 plus yearbooks arrived right on time––all 70+some gazillion boxes packed full of student greatness. I spent the entire week sorting them and threatening children. (I think the print fumes got to me.)

I even snapped at my unbelievably fab-u-lous newspaper editor Katelyn. I don’t think I’ve ever snapped at her. Yelled at, maybe, but snapped at? I don’t think so. Sigh. Print fumes.

We had only one little glitch where some guy or gal manning the presses didn’t quite get the trimline right so the printer instructions remained along the bottom of the page in some of the books. I told my amazing yearbook rep that it wouldn’t have bothered me… except it was Page 1… you know, the title page… and well, the printer instructions also said, “DESTROY.”

Let’s synchronize spell that…all together now…simultaneously and in perfect harmony…

“Destroy. D-E-S-T-R-O-Y. Destroy.”

Not exactly the kind of message one wants one to have when one opens one’s yearbook.

Well, needless to say, the problem got fixed speedy quick, but all that got me to thinking (never a good thing), and I suggested to my rep that maybe those little printer instructions should be written in some sort of code so that if it happens again, it won’t matter--especially if it says things like…
No wait… we probably ought to leave that last one out.


My California Trip & Livin’ Large

OK, OK, OK so I know I didn’t have to fly the 1400 or so miles to California to be living large. (Actually all I have to do is turn around and see my backside.) Nevertheless, most of you know that I recently went to the west coast for a few fun-filled days celebrating the turning 50 milestone for my two BFFs. (My third BFF was stuck on the east coast mumbling something about having to administer AP tests. Sheesh.)

At any rate, we had a fab-u-lous time pretending to be rich old ladies at the spa on the beach at Monterey and then later knocking around San Francisco. I decided that my overall disposition would improve exponentially if only I could begin each and every day with a walk on this beach…
…and, of course, have an hour massage.

One final note… I traveled first class, and on the way back, I sipped my complimentary Mimosa and played with the controls on my nifty seat that adjusted everywhere…legs, back, head. Heck, I could even recline to a sleeping position if I were so inclined.

But I’m sad to report I was afraid to because, as I said before, I started messing with all those controls (and you were expecting more of me? Oh, come now), and somehow I managed to get my legs too high and the back of my seat so askew that I had to put my nifty sanitized little airline pillow behind me.

And speaking of sanitized pillows, I even had my own sanitized blanket (shrink-wrapped in plastic no less) assuring me that no germs lived there. No Siree buddy, all those germs were in the back of the plane jumping around on those non-sanitized, unwrapped red blankets. You know the ones I’m talkin’ about. Can I get an “Amen” brothers and sisters?

Who knew flying first class was so much fun?

Now, least you think that my school district pays me way too much in my little southern suburb south of the big D, rest assured that this little flight cost me all my airline mileage points. Points racked up–not because I’m a jet set traveler–but because of the year’s worth of groceries I ate and charged to my credit card in order to get those airline miles. It’s no wonder I have a livin’ large backside.

Oh yeah, baby, I’m Mrs. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous… no wait, that’s Brittany Spears

********

OK, so enough of that nonsense…Here’s looking forward to summer.

Let’s synchronize spell that…all together now…simultaneously and in perfect harmony…

summer…S–U–M–M–E–R…summer

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Star Wars, Pizza Andy & the 168th Carnival of Education

Before I get to the Carnival, I have to tell you that yesterday was somewhat of a disappointment.

I actually had a “Star Wars” emergency, and who do we call for that sort of thing? Why, Pizza Andy, of course. I needed Episode 1 (and, yes, I already know it’s not as good as the others, according to my “Star Wars” fans), but nonetheless, I needed Episode 1 for an advertising bit I’m doing on product placement. I had forgotten mine, and we all know that Andy carts around his collection in case there’s a “Star Wars” emergency.

Believing that this constituted such a thing, I tracked him down after his math class.

No “Star Wars.”

His book bag, he apologized, had become too full so he had taken them out last week.

Just another reminder that life is full of disappointments. Let’s hope he doesn’t remove his pocket Constitution. If I need one of those, we could be in real trouble.

Now on to the 168th Carnival of Education hosted by our friends at the Education Wonks. Make sure you hop on over there to see what’s going on in the EduSphere. There’s always something for everyone. My post on “Austin, Rubber Chickens and Awards” made the cut. But you don’t have to go there to read it here.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Carnival Submissions & Other Odds & Ends

News flash…news flash…news flash…

Just a few things--three things to be exact--I just know you want to know…

No. 1…Don’t forget to submit your stuff for the next Carnival of Education… Yes, siree, I’m hosting it and the deadline is 6 p.m. sharp, Tuesday, March 25. Did I say 6 p.m. sharp, Tuesday, March 25? Remember, us journalism types don’t waiver on deadlines. Ask my kiddos. You can send your submissions using this handy, dandy form or by emailing me at mybellringers@gmail.com.

No. 2…For my Pizza Andy fans, Andy did not receive the $50,000 Al Neuharth Free Spirit Journalism Scholar Award, but he still has the $1,000 plus his fab-u-lous trip to Washington, D.C. What a wonderful adventure and what a terrific kid. (Sorry, can’t use an exclamation point because we have a rule: No exclamation points unless there is a nuclear explosion or your hair is on fire.)

No. 3…And speaking of fab-u-lous… My incredibly fab-u-lous newspaper editor-in-chief Katelyn will receive a summer journalism internship at the Dallas Morning News. They made the announcement this week after interviewing area high school journalism finalists. Now that news definitely deserves a Woo-hoo. And hails bails, while we’re at it, let’s just toss in an exclamation point too-- Woo-hoo, Katelyn!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

163th Carnival of Education

The 164 Carnival of Education is out hosted by Joel over at So You Want to Teach? As always, there’s a number of fantastic submissions to keep you occupied over your spring break. My submission, “Diets, Mini Monkey Mints & Floral Print Shoes” was included, but you don’t have to go there to read it here.

Still make sure you check it out so you know what’s happening in the EduSphere.

Now before I go, I have two random Floral Print Shoes ramblings…

#1…For my Pizza Andy fans, you will be pleased to know that he is in Washington, D.C. for the Al Neuharth Free Spirit Journalism Scholar Award. He sent me an email telling me he was one of seven boys who were finalists for the $50,000 scholarship. I can’t tell you how proud and excited I am for him. (The winner will be announced Wednesday, March 19.)

#2…For reasons I can’t quite articulate…but probably has something to do with my craziness and floral print shoes… I will be hosting the next Carnival of Education. Submissions will be due by 6 p.m. Tuesday, March 25 and hopefully (barring any major disasters which seem to occur with some level of frequency in my life), the 165 Carnival of Education will appear right here on Wednesday morning. Send your submissions to me using this handy, dandy form or you can email me at mybellringers@gmail.com. Ahhhhhh, what was I thinking? Let the games begin!


Sunday, February 10, 2008

Losing Lists, Dante’s Circles & Emergency Supplies

Since last week was crazy-crazy–that’s crazy-times-two-squared–I made a list of all the things I could write about, but then promptly lost it. No surprise there, but then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if my list didn’t inadvertently get stuck in that last batch of pages I sent off to Dante’s inner circle of hell–known by non-publications advisers as The Yearbook Plant.

Maybe my list will so amuse them, they won’t notice I’m seven pages short. Yeah right, when pigs fly.

But let’s get on with the important stuff.

I could try to remember and then reconstruct my list, but the thought of that, quite frankly, makes my head explode. So since we’re sort of on a Pizza Andy roll with his fan-tab-u-lous scholarship and 15 minutes of fame with the Dallas Morning News story, let’s see if we can stand one more Pizza Andy story…

When the Dallas Morning News came to shoot him–I guess we should say “came to take his photograph”–we all were chatting it up with the photographer and one thing led to another and then another until we arrived on a discussion of “Things that could be found in Andy’s backpack.” (You know how fond I am of things.)

Now, you really didn’t think his backpack contained normal things like pens, paper, map colors, did you?

Here’s just a glimpse…

  • a pocket U.S. Constitution “just in case” –And, no, I’m not exactly sure when one would need to whip out one’s pocket Constitution, but I can only assume that if one really needed a copy of the Constitution, one would really, really, really need a copy. And then, that day would be a crazy-crazy-crazy-times-a gajillion-squared-kind-of-day. I’m thinking we’d have to create a 10th circle of hell.
  • an “emergency” complete Star Wars DVD set minus Episode 6 which he lent to a teacher who also apparently has Andy’s life-size cut-out of Princess Leia (and, no, you really don’t want to know), and no, I’m not exactly sure what constitutes a “Star Wars Emergency” either.
  • a Fred Thompson campaign flyer.
  • a Yoda key chain
Now, if you think all of that borders on the bizarre, I have another kid in my photo class who–no matter what you ask for–can whip it out of her purse. I call it the Mary Poppins bag.

She wants to be on staff next year.

Something tells me she’ll fit right in.

Friday, February 8, 2008

The Dance of Joy, Pizza Andy & Free Spirits

Time to do the dance of joy.

For those of you who are fans of this blog–pah-leese tell me you’re fans aren’t you?– and have enjoyed stories about Pizza Andy which can be found here and here and well here plus don’t forget the photo which used to be on my blog but has since moved to my website.


OK sorry about all that…back to why you should do the dance of joy… Andy won a special scholarship–the Al Neuharth Free Spirit Journalism Scholar Award. You can read about it here on the Dallas Morning News website.