Friday, May 23, 2008

Spelling Bees, Yearbook Fumes & Livin’ Large

As we speedy quick approach the end of the school year, I glanced through my half-finished, half-baked drafts of posts I started but got sidetracked and didn’t complete. (Kind of like all those lists I keep starting and losing and starting). So I’ve pieced together a montage for you to peruse. Hopefully, one of these little tidbits will spark a smile or two at a time of the year when things are so hectic.

Newspaper Deadlines & the Synchronized Spelling Bees

A conversation during our final newspaper deadline…

“Hey, quick, someone spell ‘competition’ for me. It just doesn’t look right.”

Pizza Andy & Jessica simultaneously & in perfect harmony… “Competition. C-O-M-P-E-T-I-T-I-O-N. Competition.”

One of them… “Hey, wouldn’t it be great if they had a synchronized spelling bee contest? You know, like synchronized swimming?”

Me… “What?”

Pizza Andy & Jessica simultaneously and in perfect harmony “Booger. B-O-O-G-E-R. Booger.”

Me & My Newspaper Editor Katelyn… simultaneously and in perfect harmony rolling our eyes.

Yearbook update…

So-o-o-o my 1,200 plus yearbooks arrived right on time––all 70+some gazillion boxes packed full of student greatness. I spent the entire week sorting them and threatening children. (I think the print fumes got to me.)

I even snapped at my unbelievably fab-u-lous newspaper editor Katelyn. I don’t think I’ve ever snapped at her. Yelled at, maybe, but snapped at? I don’t think so. Sigh. Print fumes.

We had only one little glitch where some guy or gal manning the presses didn’t quite get the trimline right so the printer instructions remained along the bottom of the page in some of the books. I told my amazing yearbook rep that it wouldn’t have bothered me… except it was Page 1… you know, the title page… and well, the printer instructions also said, “DESTROY.”

Let’s synchronize spell that…all together now…simultaneously and in perfect harmony…

“Destroy. D-E-S-T-R-O-Y. Destroy.”

Not exactly the kind of message one wants one to have when one opens one’s yearbook.

Well, needless to say, the problem got fixed speedy quick, but all that got me to thinking (never a good thing), and I suggested to my rep that maybe those little printer instructions should be written in some sort of code so that if it happens again, it won’t matter--especially if it says things like…
No wait… we probably ought to leave that last one out.

My California Trip & Livin’ Large

OK, OK, OK so I know I didn’t have to fly the 1400 or so miles to California to be living large. (Actually all I have to do is turn around and see my backside.) Nevertheless, most of you know that I recently went to the west coast for a few fun-filled days celebrating the turning 50 milestone for my two BFFs. (My third BFF was stuck on the east coast mumbling something about having to administer AP tests. Sheesh.)

At any rate, we had a fab-u-lous time pretending to be rich old ladies at the spa on the beach at Monterey and then later knocking around San Francisco. I decided that my overall disposition would improve exponentially if only I could begin each and every day with a walk on this beach…
…and, of course, have an hour massage.

One final note… I traveled first class, and on the way back, I sipped my complimentary Mimosa and played with the controls on my nifty seat that adjusted everywhere…legs, back, head. Heck, I could even recline to a sleeping position if I were so inclined.

But I’m sad to report I was afraid to because, as I said before, I started messing with all those controls (and you were expecting more of me? Oh, come now), and somehow I managed to get my legs too high and the back of my seat so askew that I had to put my nifty sanitized little airline pillow behind me.

And speaking of sanitized pillows, I even had my own sanitized blanket (shrink-wrapped in plastic no less) assuring me that no germs lived there. No Siree buddy, all those germs were in the back of the plane jumping around on those non-sanitized, unwrapped red blankets. You know the ones I’m talkin’ about. Can I get an “Amen” brothers and sisters?

Who knew flying first class was so much fun?

Now, least you think that my school district pays me way too much in my little southern suburb south of the big D, rest assured that this little flight cost me all my airline mileage points. Points racked up–not because I’m a jet set traveler–but because of the year’s worth of groceries I ate and charged to my credit card in order to get those airline miles. It’s no wonder I have a livin’ large backside.

Oh yeah, baby, I’m Mrs. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous… no wait, that’s Brittany Spears


OK, so enough of that nonsense…Here’s looking forward to summer.

Let’s synchronize spell that…all together now…simultaneously and in perfect harmony…



Melissa B. said...

My Cherubs don't synchronize spell, but they DO play WikiSpeedia on the computers. Somewhere between a techie scavenger hunt and 6 Degrees of Separation--not quite sure how it works. BTW, when I had an SUV with an automatic, electric seat-adjuster thingamajig, I adjusted the heck out of the driver's seat to the point that I felt like I was part of an Apollo moonshot & not a suburban mom trying to drive the kiddos around. Hubby re-adjusted the seat just in the nick of time!

Clix said...

I so heart Warren Zevon! My favorite is "Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner," but I'm also terribly fond of "Werewolves of London," which has the BEST alliterated line EVER. (Only I don't think I could get away with using it as an example in class EVER, either.)