Fitness, 5-Alarm Educational Challenge & Emergency Chocolate

My ladies exercise class occasionally undertakes what we call a “Fitness Challenge.”

Now, boys and girls, the Fitness Challenge should not--I repeat not--be confused with being fitness-challenged. (Which, of course, I am, but that’s not the point.) In our Fitness Challenge, we come up with a few objectives, throw in a reasonable weight loss goal (like I promise to lose 6 ounces within 4 weeks (OK, OK, OK maybe it’s a tad bit more weight), and we devise proper punishment for failing to live up to the expectations and standards of the class. In our case, it’s a money jar. Each and every failure costs a one dollar fine to the money jar.

At the end of the challenge, we empty the money jar and rush speedy quick over to a nearby Mexican restaurant to consume mass quantities of food. Let’s just say that the dinner is usually on me (and not just on my shirt either). Now, I’m not sure about the wisdom in all of that, but it sure is fun.

Well, this Fitness Challenge thing got me to thinking about things. (I know, I know, I know. We all know that happens when I get to thinking, and we all know how I feel about things.)

So, I got to thinking that perhaps I should devise an Educational Challenge, you know, with objectives, goals and consequences. (I think some of you call those lesson plans, but no, silly, I’m not talkin’ about lesson plans here--although I probably ought to rustle up some of those before next week.)

No Siree, Missy. I’m talking about a full-blown 5-alarm Educational Challenge here, strictly not for the faint of heart or Richie hatas. So let’s get right to it. We don’t have a moment to lose. After all, we’ve got five days down and done, and only 172 more school days to go, but, hey, who’s counting? Nope, not me.

Richie’s Full Blown
5-alarm Fun-Filled Educational Challenge

Challenge #5…Can I have more chocolate, please?
I realize that this one directly undermines the whole Fitness Challenge thing (which probably explains why most of my paycheck ends up in the Fitness Challenge money jar), but ah well…

Challenge #5 is to give out more (what else?) chocolate prizes. Chocolate just sets the bar at a higher standard of fabulousness for the year. I gave out chocolate to one of my classes last week for prizes and one kid exclaimed, “I just love this class!”

Forget the AEDs (Automated External Defibrillators) located throughout the school, I now have an ECD.

As in Emergency Chocolate Drawer.

I think it’ll come in quite handy throughout the year. Don’t you?

Challenge #4…Increasing membership in the RFC--Richie Fan Club and decreasing membership in the RHC--the Richie Hata’s Club…
Now my principal (who by the way is a very, very nice guy) claims there isn’t such a thing as the RHC, but we all know there are teacher-types who like us (after all, what’s not to like about us?), and we all know, sadly, that there are naysaying hatas out there too. Hails Bails, isn’t that life in general? Still, we can all try and get along, can’t we?

Last year, I identified five charter members of the RHC. (There may have been a sixth one, but I’m not sure.) Despite those five, I still managed to win a few more hearts and minds… OK, OK, OK so it usually involved mass quantities of chocolate, a few StarBucks gift certificates and some favor trading on my part. But still, I think my fan base has grown a bit from last year.

HOWEVER…

…and don’t you just hate those “howevers”?…

With underclassmen photographs scheduled for next week (you do remember I’m the yearbook adviser, don’t you?), I have a feeling that picture day will most certainly significantly and most definitely negatively impact my fan base.

I guess I better fill up the ECD. I have a feeling I’m going to need it.

Challenge #3… Big Fat Stupid Head No More
OK, all you Naysaying Nellies can stop right now. I know I have made numerous proclamations and promises NOT to say Big Fat Stupid Head, and, of course, I have failed miserably. But let’s not be dreamkillers. Let’s see if we can get beyond our record of 92 days, 19 hours, 39 minutes and 15 seconds. Let’s not concentrate on our failures. If we did that, would we have put a man on the moon? Would post-it notes have been created? Would Michael Phelps have won his gazillion gold medals? Give me the dream. Let’s start up that counter again! Let’s reach for the stars! Let’s just see just how long we can make it through the year without once--audibly--uttering, “Big Fat Stupid Head!”

Ladies and gentlemen, start your counters!

Challenge #2… Do not be a bubblehead.
This sort of goes with Challenge #3. This year I will attempt to leave my thoughts in the bubble above my head and not say them. Verbalizing the thoughts in the bubble is bad. (You know what I’m talking about, or rather, what I shouldn’t be talking about.) So, everyone, repeat after me… “The bubble is bad. Verbalizing the bubble is very, very bad indeed.”

Now before we move onto our top challenge, we need to have a money jar and agree that violations of each and every challenge will cost us a dollar a pop.

OK, now on to Challenge No. 1… Can we have a drumroll pah-leese…

Challenge #1…Ta-da! Keep my desk clean
Every year I start school with a clean desk. I neatly sort through the piles of stuff and file them, toss them or hide them. OK, OK, OK so there’s a lot of hiding going on there, but at least at the start of the school year, I can actually see the brown formica of my desk. My paper clips rest neatly housed in their black desk organizer tray, multi-colored post-it notes are stacked in their special baskets and I have neatly labeled and color-coded my file folders to say things like “Hot File,” “Budget” and “Things That Will Get You Fired 2008-2009.”

If only life were so simple.

If only my desk would remain organized.

If only the desk gremlins would stay hidden at night.

If only.

I told you that emergency chocolate was going to come in handy.

186th Carnival of Education

The 186th Education Carnival is up over at SharpBrains! If you want to be in the know about what’s going on in the EduSphere, well, you really should trot on over there and read all the buzz.

My post on “Back to School, YouTube Videos & Shadow Puppets” was included, but hey, you don’t have to go there to read about it here. But you really should go over there.

And while you’re there check out Cherish’s post at Faraday’s Cage is where you put Schroedinger’s Cat. This time instead of figuring out how fat we are on different planets, we can figure out how OLD we are. OMG! Now how fun is that? There’s lots of other stuff too to read at the Carnival so get trotting…

Thank you so-o-o-o-o very much

I’m honored to be given this award by two fab-u-lous bloggers, Mr. Teacher and Loonyhiker.

In order to accept this award in all its awesomeness, the rules state that the rules must be posted. So here there are…

(1) Put the logo on your blog
(2) Add a link to the person who awarded you
(3) Nominate at least 7 other blogs
(4) Add links to those blogs on yours
(5) Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs.

So-o-o-o-o-o-o my friends, here are the 7 fab-u-lous bloggers I nominate…
1. NYC Educator
2. Old Andrew
3. So You Want To Teach
4. Clix
5. Assorted Stuff
6. Joanne Jacobs
7. Right on the Left Coast

Back to School, YouTube Videos & Shadow Puppets

Like most teachers on the planet--or at least in these parts--I spent last week frantically trying to organize my room and plan for the upcoming school year in the moments provided between attending meetings, learning how to bond with my fellow teacheroos and setting goals.

While at these meetings, we got to watch several nifty little PowerPoints along with nifty little YouTube videos. Don’t you just love those videos? I do.

Jeez, I’d love to show nifty little YouTube videos to help keep my kiddos engaged, but sadly I do not have the keys to enter the YouTube video kingdom where all is nifty and fan-tab-u-lous.

No Siree, not me.

Try as I might, St. Bernard, our school’s Internet gatekeeper, blocks me. No YouTube video kingdom keys for me. No Siree. I couldn’t watch Mr. Teacher’s rather fab-u-lous rendition of Darth Vader explaining the Pythagorean Theorem on YouTube no matter how hard I try.

Nope. No can do. And if you’re reading this from your school, you probably can’t go there either.

And, I’m sad to report that I can’t show an interesting video by that University of Virginia professor to my newly bonded teacheroo friends to discuss how the professor basically cans everything I’ve ever been told about learning styles when he proclaims “Learning Styles Don’t Exist.”

Try accessing that at your school. Nuh-uh. Sorry. No can do. The watcher of all that is Internet will not allow access.

So much for the free flow of ideas. I’m down to a trickle here. I bet you are too. It’s enough to make you think you’re in China. Hey, maybe Chinese spies created Internet blockers.

Now, I could request access from my tech guy buddies, but with our tech guys opening up two campuses and troubleshooting all the computer scheduling problems etc. that surface at the start of the school year, I didn’t because (1) I really, really do like our tech guys and I didn’t want to bother them and add to their stress, and (2) I know this request isn’t that important so it probably stands as much of a chance (at this point in time) as this guy.

So in the meantime until things settle down, I guess shadow puppets will have to suffice.


And if you don’t think I’ll do that, well then my friends, you don’t know me well at all.

Hop Across the Pond & Post A Comment (pah-leese!)

My new found friend from across the pond, Sarah Ebner at the London Times, asked me to look at her most recent post on “The 15 worst teachers in the movies,” but sadly I must report that I am not much of a movie buff. However, I know bunches of y’all are. So I’m asking you’se guys to hop on over there, check out her list and post a comment. (Hey, are y’all catching all these fab colloquialisms?)

Comments over there can be made using your real name, anonymously or using a pseudonym if you prefer.

I do know enough about movies to be pleased that Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter made No. 1 on Sarah’s list. I think my BFF Jennifer on the east coast would be pleased as well as she actually knows someone whom everyone refers to (in code, of course) as “Dolores.” Yikes!

Well, I gotta go for now so I can get ready for FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL stuff. You know the important stuff like what in the SAM HILL am I gonna wear??? Jeez Louise! I do hope to have my regular post ready by tomorrow or Monday.

Unless, of course, I have a wardrobe crisis.

In the meantime, go to Sarah’s site, check it out and post a comment.

185th Carnival of Education

The Ticonderoga pencils stand sharpened, the seating chart ready and the bells, well, they are a ringin’.

We’re back to school all right. No more salsa and chips by the swimming pool at two in the afternoon. No siree, Missy. We are ramped up, ready to go and primed for the new year.

But my feet–which haven’t seen the inside of a high heel shoe in almost 12 weeks–throb. Oh yeah, we’re back in school all right and look who’s joined us…

There’s Travis from Stories from School: Practice Meets Policy standing over there by the frig in the teacher’s lounge admonishing teachers to purge their educational refrigerators before school starts. There’s no room for that toxic-aged tuna sandwich or that educational Muda.

Now while you’re throwing out the tuna and pondering the whole Muda thing, you might want to fly on over to Teacher in a Strange Land and see why Nancy Flanagan thinks first time flyers and new teachers are a lot alike. Then take a peak at Alex Landis’ list of qualities that make for a great teacher. See how you rate.

But pah-leese, don’t think you need to be a hero. Check out what eduwonkette has to say about “Whatever It Takes.”

And while we’re at it, let’s see if you have it. “It?” you ask. Well, head over to Scenes from the Battleground and see what Old Andrew has to say about it.

Jose over at The Jose Vilson lists when he knew he was a certified teacher. You know, things like “I explain to a prospective teacher the pros and cons of teaching using a Venn diagram in my mind.”

And since we’re in the rating groove, let’s go ahead and take a quiz. Great Schools challenges us to take the “Are you smarter than an 8th grader?” quiz. And, no, I didn’t take it yet… it had the word “math” and “science”… need I say more? It’s enough to make my head explode.

And speaking of head explosions… Jasmin’s head got all explodey at Insanity Ensues over some brouhaha over a dress code issue in North Carolina.

But wait! Before our heads explode and we lose important brain matter, let’s exercise our brains and hustle on over to SharpBrains and play the Spot the Difference. Let’s all sing together (you know, like in Sesame Street. You know you want to)… “One of these things is not like the other thing…”

And speaking of things (and we all know how I feel about things don’t we?). Well, it’s a good thing we’ve got this picture thing going because apparently our kiddos are reading less not more even though they have more opportunities to read on line. Extra, extra read all about it on what we know and don’t know about reading and the web from our friends at Britannica Blog.


As if that wasn’t bad enough, wait until you hear about what my daughter had to tell me this weekend… and I’m not kidding around either.

And neither is Looneyhiker at Successful Teaching who thinks we need to do more about bullies–especially cyberbullies.

Well, let’s just send in the clowns. Yep, you heard that right. The Hall Monitor over at DetentionSlip is talking about clowns and wondering why a rodeo clown is the most qualified person we can find to educate kiddos about bullying.

Jeez Louise, what is with you people and clowns? Is there a problem with my hair again? Do I look like Bozo? No? Are you sure? I think I need a cup of coffee. OK, OK, OK, so the transition doesn’t work well, but it’s late and … oh well, let’s just head over to the coffee machine and join the discussion on the fab-u-lous Olympics. A Voice From The Middle is talking about the true Olympic winner in swimming, and it wasn’t (gasp) Michael Phelps either.

What’s wrong with NYC Educator? He looks like he needs a bit of moral support. Yeah, he caved and bought his daughter her own television--one that’s better than his.

Hey, was that the lunch bell? Lightly Seasoned is here, but not eating? What?! No money after buying school supplies for your classroom? Jeez Louise! Here, take half my sandwich then I won’t have to move to Mars when it’s time for the staff fitness weigh-in.

What? You don’t know about the Mars thing? Well, where have you been, girlfriend? Cherish over at Faraday’s Cage is where you put Schroedinger’s Cat (don’t ya, just love the name of that blog?) has a nifty post, “Does this planet make me look fat?” Even if math and physics make you cringe, you’ve got to go there just for the fun link where you can pop in your weight (with no math, no less!) and decide which planets to avoid (you can bet your-you-know-what that you’ll never find me on Jupiter, but go ahead and book me a ticket to Mars). I can’t remember when I’ve been so easily amused.

OMG, I want to know how in the Sam Hill I ended up in the lunch with all the math nerds. Mr. Teacher just popped in his latest YouTube video with Darth Vader explaining the Pythagorean Theorem. May the force be with all of us after that one.

For all my math-challengeness, A over at It’s the Thought that Counts had a really, really, really (did I mention really?) interesting post on why we learn math. I actually found myself nodding my head in agreement and saying “Amen” to his comment that “If math can be taught as something that’s interesting, rather than as something that’s useful, it changes the way students look at it.”

Whoa, why are the lights flickering? Did someone forget to pay the humongous electric bill? Is that DesertJim at the Teaching Excellence Network discussing how energy costs are impacting schools?

Whew! Glad the lights are back on. Oh, I guess it was just Mr. Teacher fiddling with the lights. See those guys over there? Aren’t they part of the new mentoring program to help us? Yep, there’s Instructify with some tips to help improve on-line learning while Garnet is offering tips for profreding ones wrok in his post @edu. Ms. Ward is giving some handy dandy tips at Teacher et cetera on incorporating memoirs in the secondary classroom and homeschooler Steph W. at Life Without School examines how standardized tests mismeasures intelligence.

Hey, did someone see Larry Ferlazzo? I hear he’s pieced together some very useful websites to help teach about 9/11. If you’re a new teacher (or even if you’re not), you might want to check out Catching Sparrows teaching tips. And if you ever wondered about the differences between young students and older students in college, head over to see what Mamacita has to say. And, boy, does she have a lot to say about that.

Rats! There’s that bell again. We better get going, but before we do, we all (yes, every blessed one of us) need to stop by Mrs. Bluebird’s classroom and read about the Pinball Wizard. It will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside…a feeling I don’t get very often.

Oh no, there’s the tardy bell. This time I’ve really gotta go. Have a fan-tab-bu-lous new year! And, hey, don’t forget to meet us at the next carnival hosted by SharpBrains. You can use this handy, dandy form.

“I’ve got this feeling that there’s something that I missed…”

–Snow Patrol

And, if I did, my apologies. Until next time…

Ratios, Russia & Peaches

(Just a brief note to any naysayers out there–I couldn’t make this stuff up even if I wanted to which, of course, I don’t.)

My daughter, who works at a day care while attending attending Texas Tech, called this past weekend to rhetorically asked if I knew “what moron decided it’s OK to put 18 4-year-olds in a room with one teacher.”

“Why the same moron who has never been locked in a room with 18 4-year-olds, bless their hearts,” I replied.

Then, my daughter, who also works a second job at a grocery store, said her co-workers were discussing the recent Russian crisis…

(Isn’t that great, I thought, young people discussing current events. I got goosebumps just thinking about it.)

Oh, but wait… one of her co-workers, well…

“She thought Russia had invaded Georgia,” my daughter said, “as in the state, not the country.”

Never one to let a teachable moment slip by, I said, “You see why it’s so important to get your college degree?”

“But Mom, I think she is in school,” my daughter said.

“Oh my,” I replied.

I guess that girl thought the Russians needed some peaches, bless her heart.