Whining, Voting & Blogger Awards

We may just have to briefly suspend the normal operating rules of this blog. Since its creation in September of 2007, Bellringers has proudly been a No Whining blog. OK, so I’ll admit I’ve come mighty close a time or two, but I have always managed to back away from the precipice of Whine Central.

But today, well today, with one toe poised over the edge of the Whining Abyss, I think it’s time to just dive right into that whining pool, get it over with, dry myself off and move on. You see, this voting thing for “Best Blog This” and “Best Blog That” filled my head with those VIB thoughts again. (You know, those Very Important Blogger thoughts.)

Pathetic, I know. I’m such an easy mark.

People’s Exhibit #1-- I used to get excited when I would receive emails from Oprah. My heart would start jumping when I’d see in the subject line: “Carol, Oprah needs your help…” I’d think to myself, “Yep, me and the O are tight, practically sisters.”

That is, of course, until I remembered that I signed up for her newsletter, and that in some dank Chicago basement Hal the computer spews a gazillion of those emails to a gazillion email accounts “personalizing” each and every one.

Now, remember I’ve been honest about this before and have readily admitted that I do have an ego roughly the size of a barn, so you can see how easy it is for me to get carried away when I get nominated for something, anything. Hails Bails, I would get excited for being nominated the The-Non-Fat-Three-Raw Sugar-Latte-Guzzling-Queen.

So when my friend over at Scholastic Scribe tells me about a Best Education Blog nomination, what do I do? I do what any non-self-respecting blogger would do--I cajole friends, acquaintances, strangers and derelicts to vote for me.

Then, flushed with anticipation, I zip to check the vote count on whatever awards site is currently up. Clean my glasses. Re-check the vote count. Re-clean my glasses. Re-check the vote count. Sigh loudly. (OK, so it’s more like a harrumph). After a final re-check of votes, I finally come to terms with the very sad fact that my number barely hovers above the single digits.

Even sadder still, of course, is that of those votes, four come from my family.

But let’s go even a step further beyond the realm of more pathetic. Yep, you’ve probably guessed it by now. Since I have a 17 year old who can hate me on any given day, I hacked into her email and cast her vote for her. I figured at some point in her life she would want something from good ole Mom, find a warm fuzzy feeling for me and cast her ballot in the affirmative.

Yeah, pathetic I know.


On the I-Really-Am-Not-The-Most-Pathetic-Person-On-The-Planet side of all this, at least I resisted the temptation to open an email account for my dog Jack and have him vote for me. (And I don’t care what you say, just thinking about it doesn’t count.)

I know you’re probably feeling just a tad bit sorry for me about now and perhaps just a smidge tired of all this whining… Quite frankly I am too. I’m also pretty sure you’re wondering how in the Sam Hill any of this whining has to do with education. (Jeez Louise, work with me here. I’m getting to all of that.) So, my peeps, I decided that perhaps the best way to get out of this wallowing in self-pity thing was to put on my snazzy tiara and come up with a set up awards that perhaps someone like me (or maybe even you) could actually win…

So here it goes…

Richie’s Top 5 blogger awards

#5…The Oh-No-O Blogger Award… Goes to those bloggers (like me and Mr. Teacher) who believe Oprah will actually read their blog some day, “discover” them and invite them on her show and give them free stuff.

#4…The Have-Some-Whine-With-Your-Cheese-Award…Proudly goes to an educator who whines the best about stuff worthy of whining about. My personal favorite still would have to be Mimi’s post way back in September on “My Kingdom For A Parking Space.”

#3…The Blagojevich Blog Award…Handed out to those who, you know, attempt to control the outcome of things, but fail rather pathetically. (Kind of like that someone who hacked into her daughter’s email and cast that vote.)

#2…The Set-My-Hair-On-Fire Award… Given to those teachers who--when faced with insurmountable odds--may think about setting their hair on fire and run screaming from the building, but instead, reach into their Emergency Chocolate Drawer, clench their teeth, gain five pounds and defy all the Naysaying-Know-Nothing-Nincompoops. (I think Edna Lee would be a good candidate. I still love to read “What do you mean Billy fell off a cliff?”

And, drum-roll pah-leese… the Number 1 Blogger Award of All Time is…


#1…The Big-Fat-Stupid-Head Award…(Jeez Louise, you were expecting something different? And, no this does not stop the BFSH timer. Remember all rules were suspended for this particular post.) Now, I know some of you think you can win this award, but surely, on any given day, I’ve got this one pretty much covered.

I bet my vote count would soar into the triple digits, and I wouldn’t even need Jack’s vote.

Mood Swings, Dodgeball & Gift Giving

Even if you don’t teach, you know the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas can be crazy. Please excuse the paraphrasing, but these are, indeed, times that can try our souls.

Lately, I’ve been using my Desktop Dodgeball Kids to track and signify my mood of the minute, not my mood of the day. Yes, that’s right, I said minute. And lately, I’ve been posting this one:




so I probably ought not to delve into the shenanigans of the week.

OK, so I know shenanigans isn’t really the most accurate word to use here, but I love that word. I love the way it sounds, the way it flows, the way it encompasses so many things. And, that of course, got me to thinking (and we all know what happens when that happens).

But I got to thinking that perhaps now would be a good time to write about some things that I love like my little dodgeball kids which were a gift from my BFF Jennifer.

Well that gift-giving thing got me to thinking about teacher gifts (after all it is the Christmas season), so I thought perhaps I should share a few ideas for gifts that should top everyone’s holiday list this year. Now, I’d like to say that my book should be at the top of everyone’s gift giving list, but since I am still several months away from publication, you’ll just have to wait for the memo on that one and save a few bucks for later. (Don’t you just love shameless self-promotion?). So here’s my list sans my book (And don’t you just love the fact that my four years of college French has finally come in handy?)

Richie’s Top Five Holiday Gift Giving Ideas

#5…Anyone who’s anybody in the EduSphere has to know Mr. Teacher. In fact, he recently hosted the 200th Carnival of Education. If you went to his site for the carnival, you probably noticed the book he has for sale, “Learn Me Good.” I’ve read the book and it’s a quick and funny read. But if reading isn’t your thing, you can always snap up one of his hilarious t-shirts here for any teacher in your life. From “Darth Grader” to “I teach therefore I am… poor” t-shirts, I giggled just reading the choices.

#4…The Desktop Dodgeball Kids mentioned earlier. My BFF Jennifer originally gave them to me to relieve deadline stress. “I know you can’t hit the children,” she said, “but you can whack these little guys with this nifty little ball. It’ll make you feel better.” She was right, of course, about whacking children and the dodgeball kids. But like I said before, these little guys are also nifty to track and illustrate mood shifts. Don’t you just love multi-purpose toys?

#3…A tiara. How you managed to exist without one for this long I will never know. Even if you aren’t a girly girl (because I certainly am not), you need one. Life just seems exponentially better with one. I keep one at the ready in the classroom for kids to wear when they need a pick-me-up or it’s their birthday or because sometimes you just need a tiara. So buy one for yourself and for another teacher in your life. I keep mine handy for when I need to remind the kiddos that I am Queen of my classroom or if I’m having a bad hair day. And, then of course, there are just those days when I need to feel better, and a tiara, as well as a handful of Emergency Chocolate, does the trick.

Which, of course, brings us to Gift Idea #2…

#2…Emergency Chocolate. Who doesn’t adore chocolate? You can never have enough. I still like my personalized Dove Chocolate messages from last year. Remember for a mere $59.99, you can get 50 Dove chocolates with your own “four unique” messages. I think, though, I might substitute “Hails Bails!” and “Don’t Be A Big Fat Stupidhead!” for two of my messages from last year.

And, drum roll pah-leese…Richie’s Number 1 gift idea…A rubber chicken, of course! Jeez Louise, I can’t believe you haven’t purchased a rubber chicken for the teacher in your life. What in the Sam Hill are you waiting for? If you are new to my blog, you’ll need to go here and perhaps here to read all the reasons why no teacher should live another minute without his or her very own rubber chicken. You’ll have to trust me on this one.

And besides, see how perfectly a rubber chicken fits into a Christmas stocking. It just doesn’t get much better than that.

Carnival of Education, Stressful Jobs & Super Secret Chocolate

Well, there are three things you need to know about today…

#1…The Carnival of Education is up and running over at Leading from the Heart. Over there you’ll find everything and anything happening in the EduSphere. You know the drill… My post “Scanners, Mowing Lawns & Things You Just Shouldn’t Learn How To Do” was included, but you don’t have to go there to read it here, but you really need to go there so you’re in-the-know (and you want to be in-the-know, don’t ya?).

#2…Perhaps some of you have already seen this. Teachers, my friends, were listed as having one of the Top 8 most stressful jobs by the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health. Really? Hmmmm. As if we needed verification or validation.

As if.

That definitely explains how half a bag of that Emergency Chocolate ended up in the Super-Secret Emergency Chocolate Drawer instead of over in the original Emergency Chocolate Drawer (ECD) over in the publications room, and it also explains how half that Super Secret Chocolate somehow ended up not-so-super-secret on my hips.

#3… It’s Woo-hoo Wednesday. Surely, you can find something to Woo-hoo about!

Mondays, Morons & Me

Week Number 4 down and I’m already to count me out.

Somehow I managed to ruin my weekend before it even started. I carted home photography projects to grade which, according to my higher level math skills, gives me 210 pieces to shuffle through, divine a grade for, mark the rubric and smack myself upside my head for being such a big, fat… (nope, you’re not going to get me to say that. No siree, Missy.)

Earlier I mentioned we had our first official “Tiara Tuesday.” Yep, the call came out from one of our computer teachers to proudly dust off our tiaras and wear them in honor of surviving the first three weeks of school, the first issuance of progress reports and a general overall good work/attitude of the kiddos. Of course, I proudly wore mine and even lent out two spares --one to my hall-monitoring, chicken-loving health teacher compadre and the other to my counselor friend (who I always refer to as “The Other Carol” because she also is blessed with the same name).

Now, here’s an interesting aside--my students didn’t even blink when they saw me wearing my tiara. For them, well, it was just business as usual in Richie’s classroom.

Of course, that whole Tiara Tuesday got me to thinking, and well, one thing naturally led to another thing. And we all know how I feel about things, and with all that thinking (which btw made my brain hurt), I thought we couldn’t very well just have one day of the week with a fancy, schmancy designation.

No siree. We obviously needed something for every single week day.

So after Tiara Tuesday last week, here’s what I came up with (with, of course, some help from my first period journalism class and a few teacher peeps)…

Woo-hoo Wednesday… Sometime during the day participants had to find one nice thing to say to (1) a teacher and (2) a student. All nice statements had to begin with a Woo-hoo. For example, “Woo-hoo, you have nice hair today!” or “Woo-hoo, that’s a great question!” See how easy this is?

Thankful Thursday… Thank a teacher and a student. It’s quick and easy and goes like this… “Hey, thanks Mr. Principal for that $10,000 bonus check!” (Y’all got yours didn’t you?) Or, “Thanks for behaving today, John.” Or, “Thanks for that very interesting comment, Doris.”

Fiesta Friday… Find one thing to celebrate and rejoice in (as if Fridays ever needed a reason for celebration…)

Now, I just know you want to know what Monday will bring. Although my lunch buddy in the Art Department strongly advised me against it, I just have to set aside Monday as…can I pah-leese have a drum-roll?…Moron Monday.

Moron Monday… Now before you start hatin’ on me, let me explain. We all do, say or think something stupid. (I know I do, and I bet you do, too). So, I thought, “Let’s just devote the first day of the week to getting that stupid thing out of our system. Just think how cathartic it would be to run around saying, “Why that’s about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!” Or, “Stupid is as stupid does!” Or, “How moronic!”

You see, once we get rid of the stupid, well, we should be good to go, don’t you think? Imagine all the learning that could occur once we got the stupid out.

Well, that’s my theory, any way.

So now I'm looking at the 210 project pieces to grade, the stack of Journalism I journals still not read, the first yearbook deadline submissions, the upcoming newspaper deadline and my unfinished purchase orders. On top of that, I’m stressed over the we-must-launch-our-website-ASAP-or-bad-things-will-happen-to-me, and, most importantly, I just remembered that I forgot to replenish the almost empty ECD (Emergency Chocolate Drawer).

I don’t even have to wait until Monday to say, “What a moron.”

ARDs, CFCs & the Very Big Fat Purple Notebook Accommodations

Editorial warning…If you don’t have a sense of humor and/or you are a card-carrying member of the Richie Hata’s Club, you should just stop reading now. (And don’t be like those who ignored the dire warnings about Hurricane Ike, refused to follow the mandatory evacuation orders and then expected a speedy-quick rescue. Nope. If you take life too seriously, just move on off.)

Last week as I walked back to my classroom, I bumped into a rather exasperated teacher friend who had just left an ARD meeting. Let’s just say every single facet of life contains those who work the system, take advantage of assistance meant for others and drive the rest of us CFC.

And no, I’m not talking about chlorofluorocarbons or blaming the ozone and global warming (although I probably could, given the current political climate). No siree, Missy. I’m talkin’ about being driven Crack Fire Crazy!

So it should come as no surprise that there are people out there who work the educational system to their advantage. I offered some consoling words to my teacher peep and headed back to class to start first period. But before I could finish taking roll, a very pleasant special education teacher delivered the Very Big Fat Purple Notebook and made me sign a sheet acknowledging its receipt and all the accommodations I must follow for the students listed therein.

And as I stuffed the Very Big Fat Purple Notebook under my desk… (Remember I’m trying to keep my desk clean, so now I’ve resorted to placing stacks of stuff under my desk. I know. I know. I know. Pretty sad.)…

Anyway, all of that got me to thinking about things. And everyone knows just how dangerous that can be for me (both in the thinking and things realm). But has that ever stopped me? No siree, Missy. So I got to thinking about what accommodations I would have in the Very Big Fat Purple Notebook if my name were in there.

Here’s what I came up with (with a little bit of help from my hall-monitoring, chicken-loving health teacher compadre).

The Very Big Fat Purple Notebook
Accommodations for Richie

Accommodation No. 5–Preferred Hours…Adjust my hours so I work 9 a.m. to noon. That specific time window finds me at my peak optimum performance and would ensure unparalleled success.

Accommodation No. 4–Extended Time…Allow modifications and extended time for any and all written materials required by the PTBs (Powers That Be). You know the kinds of things I’m talking about…things that choke the space on the top of my desk… No wait, make that the things that now clutter under my desk. Things like lesson plans, goals, objectives, in-service stuff, stuff I should grade, stuff I did grade, stuff I don’t want to grade, stuff I need to record, stuff I need to read, stuff that will get you fired…

Accommodation No. 3–Provide Outside Assistance…Allow me to leave my classroom in the midst of a lesson to run willy-nilly down the hall to consult with my peers when my carefully crafted lesson goes south.

Accommodation No. 2–Provide Peer Assistance…Provide a personal assistant to keep my desk organized and to maintain the ECD (Emergency Chocolate Drawer).

And, drum roll pah-leese, the No. 1 Accommodation in the Very Big Fat Purple Notebook–The Expresso Express… Daily delivery of Starbucks to my classroom specifically one Grande, Skinny 3-raw Sugar Latte to help me maintain my focus and steel my nerves for the day.

And hey while you’re at it, drop off a Tall Mocha Frappuccino to my hall-monitoring, chicken-loving health teacher compadre around the corner. I think she could benefit from an accommodation or two.

Shooting, Organization & Things Overheard

Well somehow we survived shooting more than 1,700 freshmen, sophomores and juniors.

Oh dear, I guess I should stop saying that. Let’s scratch that and start again.

Somehow we survived photographing more than 1,700 freshmen sophomores and juniors, but I think the Richie Hata’s Club grew exponentially in the process.

Despite spending hours on a nifty looking 3-page elaborate schedule that charted times and teachers outlining when they should bebop down to the auditorium with their students, the day pretty much was nothing more than unorganized chaos. All those teachers pretty much just took roll and then bebopped down to the auditorium when they felt like bebopping.

That all rather left me feeling like the guy in the song “Alice’s Restaurant” with his “twenty-seven 8-by-10 glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one” and no one to show them to. (I know. I know. I know. I should have learned my lesson from that whole Dante’s Circle of Hell incident.)

I might as well have tossed my nifty little schedule into the air, set my hair on fire and ran willy-nilly screaming out of the building. It took several trips to the ECD (Emergency Chocolate Drawer) and a rather hefty three raw sugar skinny latte to steel myself.

So much for organization.

Which, of course, at this point in my life, I’m beginning to think is way, way overrated. And which, of course, brings me to another dismal failure of mine–my desk.

I had planned to shoot a “before” picture of my desk which would clearly show its cleanliness and my new-found organizational skills in an attempt to silence the Naysaying Nellies. But sadly, by the time I got around to it, well, let’s just say I have to re-re-organize my desk just to get it back to its “before” greatness when I could actually see the brown formica.

I have this feeling that Challenge #1 of the “Richie’s Full Blown 5 -alarm Fun-Filled Educational Challenge” isn’t going to be so fun-filled especially since we’ve only completed Week #2.

Well, enough about me. This blog normally focuses on my kiddos. So now that school is back in session and my DIs (Darling Inspirations) have returned, let’s take a quick sneaky peak into the “Things Overheard & I Can’t Believe You Actually Said That” Category…

Things Overheard #1…
newspaper photo editor… “What did I do with my pants?”
me yelling from across the room… “Pants! What do you mean, ‘What did you do with your pants?’ There better be pants!”
newspaper photo editor… “Calm down… I’m wearing a grass skirt.”

As if that explained everything. As if.


Things Overheard #2…
yearbook staffer… “So we have to sell three full pages of ads? So that means a full page ad is a full page?”


Things Overheard #3…
photography student… “What’s Labor Day?”
me… “It’s a day to honor workers.”
photography student… “Oh, I thought it had to do with mothers…”
me… “Oh my…”


Things Overhead #4…
(The yearbook staff has been working diligently trying to fine tune their yearbook theme after I nixed their theme word, “Essence.”)
me… “Essence is too girly. Sounds too much like perfume.”
them… “How about ‘Substance’?”
me… “So now we’re going to hand out crack with the yearbooks?”
them… “How about ‘Epitome’?”
me…“Oh, so now we’re the epitome of stupidity?”


There were a few more suggestions, but quite frankly, they made my head explode. We finally settled on “The Fine Print,” and I think that will do just fine.

So now, I guess I better get back to that whole desk cleaning thing…but first, I think I better check out the ECD again.

Fitness, 5-Alarm Educational Challenge & Emergency Chocolate

My ladies exercise class occasionally undertakes what we call a “Fitness Challenge.”

Now, boys and girls, the Fitness Challenge should not--I repeat not--be confused with being fitness-challenged. (Which, of course, I am, but that’s not the point.) In our Fitness Challenge, we come up with a few objectives, throw in a reasonable weight loss goal (like I promise to lose 6 ounces within 4 weeks (OK, OK, OK maybe it’s a tad bit more weight), and we devise proper punishment for failing to live up to the expectations and standards of the class. In our case, it’s a money jar. Each and every failure costs a one dollar fine to the money jar.

At the end of the challenge, we empty the money jar and rush speedy quick over to a nearby Mexican restaurant to consume mass quantities of food. Let’s just say that the dinner is usually on me (and not just on my shirt either). Now, I’m not sure about the wisdom in all of that, but it sure is fun.

Well, this Fitness Challenge thing got me to thinking about things. (I know, I know, I know. We all know that happens when I get to thinking, and we all know how I feel about things.)

So, I got to thinking that perhaps I should devise an Educational Challenge, you know, with objectives, goals and consequences. (I think some of you call those lesson plans, but no, silly, I’m not talkin’ about lesson plans here--although I probably ought to rustle up some of those before next week.)

No Siree, Missy. I’m talking about a full-blown 5-alarm Educational Challenge here, strictly not for the faint of heart or Richie hatas. So let’s get right to it. We don’t have a moment to lose. After all, we’ve got five days down and done, and only 172 more school days to go, but, hey, who’s counting? Nope, not me.

Richie’s Full Blown
5-alarm Fun-Filled Educational Challenge

Challenge #5…Can I have more chocolate, please?
I realize that this one directly undermines the whole Fitness Challenge thing (which probably explains why most of my paycheck ends up in the Fitness Challenge money jar), but ah well…

Challenge #5 is to give out more (what else?) chocolate prizes. Chocolate just sets the bar at a higher standard of fabulousness for the year. I gave out chocolate to one of my classes last week for prizes and one kid exclaimed, “I just love this class!”

Forget the AEDs (Automated External Defibrillators) located throughout the school, I now have an ECD.

As in Emergency Chocolate Drawer.

I think it’ll come in quite handy throughout the year. Don’t you?

Challenge #4…Increasing membership in the RFC--Richie Fan Club and decreasing membership in the RHC--the Richie Hata’s Club…
Now my principal (who by the way is a very, very nice guy) claims there isn’t such a thing as the RHC, but we all know there are teacher-types who like us (after all, what’s not to like about us?), and we all know, sadly, that there are naysaying hatas out there too. Hails Bails, isn’t that life in general? Still, we can all try and get along, can’t we?

Last year, I identified five charter members of the RHC. (There may have been a sixth one, but I’m not sure.) Despite those five, I still managed to win a few more hearts and minds… OK, OK, OK so it usually involved mass quantities of chocolate, a few StarBucks gift certificates and some favor trading on my part. But still, I think my fan base has grown a bit from last year.

HOWEVER…

…and don’t you just hate those “howevers”?…

With underclassmen photographs scheduled for next week (you do remember I’m the yearbook adviser, don’t you?), I have a feeling that picture day will most certainly significantly and most definitely negatively impact my fan base.

I guess I better fill up the ECD. I have a feeling I’m going to need it.

Challenge #3… Big Fat Stupid Head No More
OK, all you Naysaying Nellies can stop right now. I know I have made numerous proclamations and promises NOT to say Big Fat Stupid Head, and, of course, I have failed miserably. But let’s not be dreamkillers. Let’s see if we can get beyond our record of 92 days, 19 hours, 39 minutes and 15 seconds. Let’s not concentrate on our failures. If we did that, would we have put a man on the moon? Would post-it notes have been created? Would Michael Phelps have won his gazillion gold medals? Give me the dream. Let’s start up that counter again! Let’s reach for the stars! Let’s just see just how long we can make it through the year without once--audibly--uttering, “Big Fat Stupid Head!”

Ladies and gentlemen, start your counters!

Challenge #2… Do not be a bubblehead.
This sort of goes with Challenge #3. This year I will attempt to leave my thoughts in the bubble above my head and not say them. Verbalizing the thoughts in the bubble is bad. (You know what I’m talking about, or rather, what I shouldn’t be talking about.) So, everyone, repeat after me… “The bubble is bad. Verbalizing the bubble is very, very bad indeed.”

Now before we move onto our top challenge, we need to have a money jar and agree that violations of each and every challenge will cost us a dollar a pop.

OK, now on to Challenge No. 1… Can we have a drumroll pah-leese…

Challenge #1…Ta-da! Keep my desk clean
Every year I start school with a clean desk. I neatly sort through the piles of stuff and file them, toss them or hide them. OK, OK, OK so there’s a lot of hiding going on there, but at least at the start of the school year, I can actually see the brown formica of my desk. My paper clips rest neatly housed in their black desk organizer tray, multi-colored post-it notes are stacked in their special baskets and I have neatly labeled and color-coded my file folders to say things like “Hot File,” “Budget” and “Things That Will Get You Fired 2008-2009.”

If only life were so simple.

If only my desk would remain organized.

If only the desk gremlins would stay hidden at night.

If only.

I told you that emergency chocolate was going to come in handy.