New Year's Resolutions for 2015

Well, 2015 is just around the corner-- a brand spanking new year filled with hope and new dreams, and, of course, New Year's Resolutions.

I really should give up on that, though. No, not the new year, but those pesky New Year's Resolutions. I went back and perused previous blogs about my resolutions, and I noticed a nasty little trend… None of them made it. None. Zilch. Zippo. Nadda. Zero. Not a blooming one.

Rather discouraging don't you think? Especially since I started a new Pinterest board entitled, "A Better Me."

Jeepers Creepers. It all seems sort of pointless, doesn't it?

But then I was surfing the ol' Internet for some inspirational quotes to include in my chapter newsletter for ADK, when, what to my wondering eyes should appear… Well, no, silly, not the miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer, but this quote: "Resolutions are most often empty promises for those who have an abundance of dreams, but refuse to wake up and live them."

Hmmmmm… I don't know that I would call that an inspirational quote. Seems like a much needed kick in the behind by a reindeer or two. So I decided that perhaps that little quote should be my 2015 resolution–To actually wake up and live those promises I make to myself.

In the meantime, though, while I was looking around for inspirational stuff. I found these New Year's resolutions for teachers posted by the Pensive Sloth, another Texas blogger. Wish I could claim these as mine, but alas, they are not… here are two of my favorites…

To see them all, head on over there.

New Year's Resolutions, Yearbook Disasters & Flying Pigs

Only a few days into the New Year and already I lack the energy to come up with my annual list of lies that I euphemistically call "Richie's New Year's Resolutions."

I looked at my post from last year, and sadly, I apparently failed at just about each and every one.

Lose that extra weight? Nope.

Stress less? Nope.

Become more of an optimistic naysayer?

Well, let's just say that one is a work-in-progress, which is just another creative way for me to spell f-a-i-l-u-r-e.

I suppose at some point I should just give up this attempt at self-improvement and optimisim and quit trying to be that something I'm not. I'll never be Miss Susie Sunshine with rose colored glasses. You'll never find me sitting around the ol' camp fire, holding hands with strangers and singing "Kumbaya." All of that stands about as much of a chance of happening as dear ol' Oprah reading my book and asking me to appear on her new network.

When pigs fly, my dear, when pigs fly.

However, for a fleeting nano-second, I did take a stab at optimism. What few warm fuzzy feelings I had vaporized when, after only a few days into the New Year, we continued to remain weeks behind on our yearbook pages. As if that wasn't bad enough, the computer program we use opted to flash those nifty little "fatal error" messages which pretty much stopped all work.

Good thing I have my yearbook rep on speed dial--the number 6. (I'll let you ponder the significance of equating yearbook with that number.)

After a brief conversation where we established (1) I wasn't happy and (2) the software developers were morons, Mr. No. 6-On-My-Speed-Dial said he would send out their new technology whiz kid speedy quick to fix my problem.

Mr. No. 6-On-My-Speed-Dial (whom I've known 20-something years) made me promise to be nice to the new guy.

I'll just add that to my New Year's laundry list of hopes, promises and lies.

And while we're waiting to see how that goes, I think I'll just start back up my Big Fat Stupid Head timer.

New Year's Resolutions, Lists & Ninnyhammers

So here we are ringing in another New Year. One decade done, another beginning and time for the creation of new lists filled with hope, promises and lies.

Yes, lies.

Jeez Louise, I don’t know why I even bother making a New Year’s Resolution List. When I go back and check my old lists, well, each year looks surprisingly like the previous year which looks just like the year before that, and that one looks just like the one before that and so forth and so on and on and on.

I bet my list looks a lot like your list. There’s always the perennial favorites—lose some weight, exercise more, stress less. Sound familiar? I guess I’ll just toss those back on my 2010 resolution list.

Then, of course, I might as well top off my list with my yearly promise to try and be less of a cynic and more of an optimistic naysayer. (And, yes, I realize that’s an oxymoron.)

Of course, if I truly aspire to be more optimistic in my endeavors that means I should probably stop calling people Big Fat Stupid Heads. It probably also means I should stop calling people “ninnyhammers.” Except if I’m honest about all of this, I probably should admit right now that banishing the word “ninnyhammer” from my arsenal of words stands about as much of a chance as me turning into Miss Susie Sunshine, slapping a bow on my head, holding hands with strangers and singing about world peace.

No siree, Missy, as if that’s going to happen.

So ninnyhammer will probably stay at the top of my go-to words for 2010. That’s the problem with being a writer—we love words. The way they sound, how some swirl around your mouth, how some imitate the sound they refer to, how some spew venom, how others soothe the soul.

Ninnyhammer.

I just like how it sounds. It’s even more fun to say than nincompoop or shenanigans. Come on now, try saying it.

Ninnyhammers.

Now, don’t you just feel better saying it? Who needs Bill O’Reilly’s popinjays and bloviate, when you’ve got ninnyhammers?

Ninnyhammers.

So let’s take another look at our New Year’s Resolution List and just toss everything out.

Instead, let’s just make a simple list for 2010: Let’s just start the year off with more laughter and fewer Big Fat Stupid Heads Ninnyhammers.