New Year's Resolutions, Lists & Ninnyhammers

So here we are ringing in another New Year. One decade done, another beginning and time for the creation of new lists filled with hope, promises and lies.

Yes, lies.

Jeez Louise, I don’t know why I even bother making a New Year’s Resolution List. When I go back and check my old lists, well, each year looks surprisingly like the previous year which looks just like the year before that, and that one looks just like the one before that and so forth and so on and on and on.

I bet my list looks a lot like your list. There’s always the perennial favorites—lose some weight, exercise more, stress less. Sound familiar? I guess I’ll just toss those back on my 2010 resolution list.

Then, of course, I might as well top off my list with my yearly promise to try and be less of a cynic and more of an optimistic naysayer. (And, yes, I realize that’s an oxymoron.)

Of course, if I truly aspire to be more optimistic in my endeavors that means I should probably stop calling people Big Fat Stupid Heads. It probably also means I should stop calling people “ninnyhammers.” Except if I’m honest about all of this, I probably should admit right now that banishing the word “ninnyhammer” from my arsenal of words stands about as much of a chance as me turning into Miss Susie Sunshine, slapping a bow on my head, holding hands with strangers and singing about world peace.

No siree, Missy, as if that’s going to happen.

So ninnyhammer will probably stay at the top of my go-to words for 2010. That’s the problem with being a writer—we love words. The way they sound, how some swirl around your mouth, how some imitate the sound they refer to, how some spew venom, how others soothe the soul.

Ninnyhammer.

I just like how it sounds. It’s even more fun to say than nincompoop or shenanigans. Come on now, try saying it.

Ninnyhammers.

Now, don’t you just feel better saying it? Who needs Bill O’Reilly’s popinjays and bloviate, when you’ve got ninnyhammers?

Ninnyhammers.

So let’s take another look at our New Year’s Resolution List and just toss everything out.

Instead, let’s just make a simple list for 2010: Let’s just start the year off with more laughter and fewer Big Fat Stupid Heads Ninnyhammers.