Monday, March 1, 2010

Incidents, Birthdays & Fingernail Polish

When one of the yearbook staffers said her camera was missing (Translation: She lost one of my $2,000 cameras), I didn’t even flinch.

No siree, missy.

I didn’t even raise my voice.

Nor did I hyperventilate.

Now, before you get all excited and believe all those yoga classes are finally kicking in, let me tell you that all of the above (flinching, yelling and hyperventilating) definitely would have occurred had that little piece of information been related to me a mere 24 hours earlier.

But none of that happened because 24 hours earlier I had another “incident” —Code word for a 5-alarm, full-fledged, set-your-hair-on-fire disaster in the making.

I’d love to tell you about it, but it’s the type of “incident” that is now safely housed within the confines of my “Things That Will Get You Fired” folder, and that my dears, will allow me to survive another day.(Jeez Louise, I’m starting to feel like a Ghostbuster minding the containment fields.)

So, with the “incident” quickly quelled, and yes, even the camera safely found, I left the great Lone Star state and spent my birthday with my sister in Colorado. We decided to treat ourselves to a manicure and pedicure, and while I was perusing the color selection of nail polish, I grabbed one called, “I’m not really a waitress.”

Now, that reminded me of my students who I constantly admonish that “I’m not a waitress, so don’t call me ‘Miss.’”

 So you can see how these clever little fingernail polish names got me to thinking that perhaps we should have an entire color collection devoted to teachers. I think it would go something like this…

Are You Kiddin’ Me Brown
No Extra Credit Nifty Neutral
TAKS Testing Terra Cotta
Push Your Chairs In Pink
Bump Me Up To Passing Purple
Waiting For The Bell To Ring Rose
Misso Sorry You Forgot Your Homework Honey
Please Raise Your Hand Pebble Sand
Set Your Hair On Fire Engine Red

And, of course, what collection would be complete without my personal favorite—Don’t Be A Big Fat Stupidhead Sensational Slush

Hey, we probably ought to order that one in bulk.


Anonymous said...

Hey, I know how you feel. I too had a near BFSH moment this last week when a photog told me she didn't shoot Baseball - AGAIN! Aaaaaaghh.

We've had a lot of rain here on the Gulf Coast and baseball games have been casualties. Our YB deadline is in two weeks. Ouch.

Happy TAKSing on Wednesday. I know how much I enjoy it.

Ryan said...

'Would You Like To Share That With The Class? Fuchsia'

neil said...


Feel so bad i think here after you wont get into situation like this again....