-30- Marks the End & A New Beginning

Writer's note: After much thought and consideration, I finally decided to retire at the end of the school year. Below is a column that more or less gives my reasons why. And while I am ending my teaching career, I have several new beginnings I am excited about and will write about later. And, of course, I am hoping this decision will provide more opportunities to devote to blogging… again. 

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For years now in my teaching career, I’ve felt like Lucy Ricardo working on the candy assembly line, but without the benefit of eating all that chocolate.

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It doesn’t help that our schools tend to look like factories filled with teachers who fanatically and frenetically try to keep pace in an environment that rewards uniformity.

Like Lucy, I have found myself working at warp speed, expected to churn out cookie-cutter children all wrapped up and ready to go as “lifelong learners,” “productive citizens” or whatever other education buzzword is trending at the time. This, of course, must occur in a “stimulating and challenging environment” and be packaged in a neat little box lined with a “better future.”

At the educational factory, the operative words are “standards” and “measurements” and “outcomes” – all topped off with standardized testing to make sure everything and everyone is properly and uniformly measured. Over the years, I’ve watched more young teachers than I can count run a white flag up their own standard and quickly retreat to another profession.

Like Lucy, they’ve said in so many words: “Listen, Ethel, I think we’re fighting a losing game.”

A few years ago, I stumbled upon a study cleverly entitled, “The Widget Effect.” The report showed how administrators and school systems treat teachers, not as individual professionals, “but rather as interchangeable parts.”  

The study called us “widgets” and predicted that public education would never really improve until administrators and policymakers quit viewing teachers that way. Finally, someone was singing my song.

I’m not sure how this widget thing has become so entrenched in our educational system. It’s not like it works anywhere else. If someone swapped a Bill Gates or a Warren Buffett with a mediocre-no-name CEO, the results would be, well, quite different.

So why do we think we can swap out the Gloria Shields, the Mary Pulliams and the Dow Tates of our little educational world with interchangeable widgets and still yield the same results?

The widget metaphor has stuck with me like an obnoxious radio jingle. I haven’t been able to shake it off or ignore it. Instead, it’s made me only that much more defiant. Just because school feels like a factory, that doesn’t mean I have to act like a widget.

So I’ve tried to work harder and smarter, and eventually, that’s meant I’ve also worked longer hours. I’ve tried to do more, achieve more and be more until I’ve begun to feel like I belong in that Army recruiting commercial.

I’ve attended seminars, taught workshops and learned new things to bring to my classroom. I’ve embraced the latest technology, joined committees, mentored others and blogged religiously about my trials, tribulations and successes.

Rebelling against widgetry earns you a certain stature. I’ve been called many things. Some good, some bad and some that rhyme with what my students call me, Richie. The worst, though, has come when I’ve been brusquely dismissed as not being a “real teacher” because, you know, I teach an elective – another word for “pointless” in widget-speak.

I’ve survived three school districts, more than a half-dozen superintendents and eight principals. Every year, I’ve struggled to show that somehow my work matters in my classroom and my student publications.

No interchangeable widget here. No sirree, Missy. Not me.

Along the way, I’ve managed to stay married to one man, raised my own two children, gained weight, lost weight, battled a kidney disease, watched cancer erase both parents, walked 60 miles for the Three-Day for the Cure, written a book, championed the First Amendment and become fearless.

Most importantly, during that time, I’ve had the privilege of engaging in the education of hundreds of children, and because of them, I’ve become a better, stronger person – one who cannot and will not be unceremoniously reduced to a widget.

And so because I am too stubborn to succumb to The Widget Effect, this year marks the end of my career in public education. Twenty-seven years has earned me a graceful exit rather than a retreat. No white flags here. I may not have prevailed, but I have endured.

That’s probably the best outcome anyone could hope for in a broken system waiting to get fixed. The assembly line may have beaten Lucy, but it didn’t break me.

Counting Crows & Things That Matter

Me & Counting Crows front man Adam Duritz

Like most folks, I keep a bucket list in my head of things I want to do.

Sadly, very few items get checked off, so I've resorted to two bucket lists. The first list I call my "champagne-pie-in-the-sky-this-will-only-happen-when pigs-fly-or-Oprah/Ellen DeGeneris-discovers-my-book" list. For brevity, let's just call it the "When-Pigs-Fly" or "WPF" list. My second list I've aptly named the "Ozarka-peanut-butter-and-jelly-this-could-possibly-happen-without-pigs-flying" list which we'll simply call the PB&J list.

Call me pathetic, I know, but I did manage to put two big checks on my PB&J list a few days ago. Both lists contained gamblin, and one day meeting Counting Crows front man Adam Duritz. My WPF list envisioned a James Bond sort of gambling excursion to exotic places like Monte-Carlo or even pseudo-exotic places like Las Vegas.

Now my bucket list thing only happened because there was a Counting Crows concert I wanted to attend at a casino. I managed to con Jennifer, my BFF, to go with me.  "We could kill two birds with one stone," I rationalized. (Don't you just love cliche humor?) "Not only will I finally get to gamble,  I'll get to see one of my favorite bands again."

Reluctantly she agreed, and we did have fun in a twisted sort of way as we made the 100 mile PB&J trek to the Chickasaw WinStar Casino in Oklahoma (which despite its claim that a "world of luxury" awaited us, this is the same destination that also offered an RV park in which to stay. (I don't think they offer those type of accommodations in Monte-Carlo. No siree, Missy.) We couldn't afford the hotel casino rates, but we could afford the level II accommodations located within walking distance.

Here's the ferrets-on-crack review of our trip:

• Counting Crows Concert: fab-u-lous
• Gambling: not
• Wheel of Fortune spin: fun
• Food: mediocre
• People: odd
• Best part: Snagged the nifty photo shown above with Adam Duritz outside the hotel casino Starbucks. (Who needs to gamble or win to have fun?  Just hand me a nonfat, three raw sugar latte and a photo op with Adam, and it's better than good.)

This gambling junket got me to thinking, though, which y'all know can be problematic for me. Initially, my foray into Chickasaw Country made me realize that I'm not really a gambling kind of gal. But the more I pondered that, the more I got to really thinking and realized that perhaps that's not really true.

I am a gambling gal, but not with chips or slots or cards.

I, like many other teachers, gamble every day. I gamble on kids, placing my chips there hoping for the best. Sometimes I win. Sometimes I lose.

When I lose, well, it just sucks the life right out of me.

But when I win? Oh how the lights flash, the bells clang and the adrenaline flows.

I think I'm ready for Monday morning again because it doesn't really matter if I win or lose.  As Adam would say, "It's the heart that matters more."

Reminders, Siri & Maggieisms

Sometimes I have so much to write about, I spend too much time thinking about what to write, and then it all slips away like rays of sunshine on a cloudy day.

Already my school is two grading periods into this academic year and I have yet to share any  interesting tidbits from my DIs (Darling Inspirations). It's not because I don't have some interesting items. Rather, the ones I do have are so off the charts or off the chain (depending upon your age demographics) that I would be embarrassed (for those DIs) to write anything about it.

I have been trying, though. I keep a list of items I find amusing hoping to fashion them into funny posts. I make my list with the help of my new pal Siri. Yep,  I finally joined the ranks of the rest of the planet with my recent purchase of my very, very first smart phone–the iPhone 5. I think it's the neatest thing since sliced bread and dark chocolate. 

But even my new pal Siri can't save me from all these cryptic notes she jots down for me in my "reminders." Things like "Maggie is to do homework" and "number 13."

"Siri," I ask just a tad exasperated, "what does all that mean?"
"Sorry, Richie," she says, "I don't understand what you mean. Shall I search the web for you?"

Sorry, Siri, not even an all out web search or a fancy, schmancy decoder ring can help me decipher those notes.

I finally did remember what that Maggie thing was all about. One of my good friends has a granddaughter who says the funniest things which, of course, my friend duly posts on Facebook. (She refers to them as "Maggieisms). 

One of her most recent Maggieism was a conversation Maggie had with her mom. It went like this…
Mom: "Maggie, did you do your homework?"

Maggie: "I don't have to. It's 'do' tomorrow."
Mom: "That means you need to do it tonight."
Maggie: "I thought that meant 'do' it tomorrow."

 

I think I'm on Team Maggie.

 

Hall Monitoring, Technology & Smoke and Mirrors

My brief hiatus from blogging over the summer turned into a full-blown slump when school started followed by a a sudden penchant to spend whatever free time time I managed to squirrel away to do stuff like sleep, eat and watch mindless television.

And, as if that weren't bad enough, I sort of lost my sense of humor as I toiled away at other obligations and responsibilities. I noticed this rather bleak trend as I was standing in the hallway doing my hall monitoring thing and bemoaning the loss of my hall monitoring buddy Rhonda who retired at the end of last year.

It's not that I don't like my other hall monitoring buddies. I do, but they are quite a bit more serious than Rhonda and me. Rhonda and I had cabinets and drawers filled with puppets, rubber chickens, wands, hats and other important teacher tools. The other two monitors probably have some stuff stashed away, but they're theater teachers. I think they're suppose to have that stuff, you know, for props. My stuff, well, is just for fun.

So now more than seven weeks into the school year, I'm back on track breaking out the puppets, creepy octopus finger and magic wand. I hope this helps me get my funnyback because after a recent teacher professional development I need all the help I can get.

I'm 99 percent certain that most teachers spend quite a bit of professional development focused on technology and how technology will solve all our educational problems. 

While there's a lot of wonderful whiz bang contraptions out there, there's a lot of stuff that doesn't really work, and much of it really amounts to nothing more than smoke and mirrors, smoke and mirrors, smoke and mirrors with perhaps a bit of snake oil thrown into the mix.

I recently sat in one session that showed a bunch of cool user-friendly Internet sites that teachers could use and implement in a relatively short span of time.
With this Bring Your Own Device bandwagon circling the country, the presenter showed a site where you could create a poll and have students vote and get real-time results as you lectured on this or that. I admit I initially got sucked into the glitziness of it all and did a few ooohs and aaahs.

Then I remembered about a very low tech method of ascertaining student opinion and understanding. Jeepers creepers, why not raise your hand for crying out loud? That's pretty quick and efficient, requires no preparation and actually allows you to spontaneously get a litmus test of your lesson. 

Raise your hand if you agree with me.

Things I Learned Over My Summer Vacation

Once again my summer swirled by faster than the blink of Ernesto's eye, leaving me somewhat misty-eyed and wondering as I always do: Just where in the Sam Hill did my summer go?

This time, however, I didn't even pretend to sort through the stuff I brought home for the summer. In fact, I even drove to school after one journalism workshop and unceremoniously dumped an array of stuff back into a pile I loosely designate as a pile of "stuff to deal with later."

In fairness, I did return to school again at the beginning of August  to tackle my "stuff to deal with later" pile and to make an effort to "take care of a few things." That significant attempt failed miserably--thwarted by newly waxed floors, blazing yellow caution tape and DO NOT ENTER signs.

How's a girl suppose to get anything done when the cosmic universe aligns and conspires against her?

So I decided to give up.

Completely.

Without reservation.

Originally I planned to kick off my back-to-school blogging by writing some sort of sage advice or intelligent banter as I start my 26th year of teaching.

Instead, I think I'd rather write about my nifty little rafting adventure. I think there's a lesson in here somewhere. 

At the end of July, my husband and I traveled to Colorado and managed to squeeze in a nifty little rafting adventure along the way. Since I am not overly fond of roller coasters, heart palpitations or drowning, I signed us up for what probably could be categorized in the river rafting world as the WRR (Weenie Raft Ride) with Class II rapids.

But once we got to the rafting place, the nice people at Scenic River Tours asked if we wanted to "upgrade" our nifty little rafting adventure to a Class III rafting extravaganza of the Upper Taylor River since we were the only ones slated for the WRR.

After Josh, our 25-year-old guide and all-around nice guy, assured me that he would make every effort to (a) not toss me into the chilly 40-ish to 50-ish degree water or (b) bounce my head off a boulder or (c) in any way leave my children missing a parental unit, I agreed to the "upgrade." 

So-o-o-o my dears, here are the…

 5 Things Richie Learned 

On Her Rafting Trip 

That Can Be Applied To The Classroom

#5…Provide Essential Equipment… 

Despite duly specifying proper attire, rafters still manage to show up ill prepared wearing the wrong shoes or clothing. When school starts, we all know we will have students who appear on the first day of class without a pencil, pen, paper or clue. (Jeez Louise, I'll never understand how it can be a surprise that one needs something to write with and something to write on when attending school.)

The rafting company solves its little clueless problem by providing the proper shoes for those who show up in flip flops or expensive shoes. As an added bonus, the company also provides wetsocks to their customers so their feet don't get cold. Not having to worry about those kind of things, allowed us rafters to focus on the important things, you know, like paddling properly so you aren't tossed willy-nilly out into the river.

So perhaps on the first day of school instead of complaining about our students and their lack of preparation, we should provide some writing utensils and paper. You know, just to get everyone started on sure footing.

#4…Tell, Show, Do… 
I can unequivocally state that the ever-spectacular Josh would make a great classroom teacher. Even in the great outdoors, the educational mantra of "Tell, Show, Do" works.

You can tell me all you want how you want me to paddle, but I doubt that I will be able to replicate it. If you tell and show me, I might be able to paddle the way you want me to. But if you tell me, show me and let me practice it, well then, I just might make it to the end of our little Class III adventure without being tossed into the water and without my ever-patient-guide Josh popping me upside the head with his paddle.

#3 Practice Makes Perfect…
As we journeyed down the stream, I noticed one guide struggled with his rafters to get them to paddle correctly, so he moved his raft off to the bank of the river for his own paddle remediation. According to Josh, guides will keep their rafters there practicing until they finally get it. Meanwhile, the rest of us weren't penalized for the ineptness/ignorance/stupidity of others.  Instead, we were able to continue on with our journey.

As our school year progresses, we should remember to allot enough practice time for mastery and to remember not to penalize those students who do get it by forcing them to suffer through the remediation process. Let those kiddos continue on their journey.

#2 Leave well enough alone…

In our journey down the Taylor River, there were moments when Josh commanded that both my husband and I paddle in the same direction. There were other times when Josh commanded that my husband paddle one direction while I paddled in another. Both of those were moments where synchronization and group collaboration was not just important, but essential.

But there were also other times, when only one of us was instructed to paddle. Alone. By oneself. Without anyone else. Those times were equally important and critical.

Sometimes working alone is better and essential. As educators, we need to remember which serves us better. Otherwise, we'll end up with a class confused, headed in the wrong direction and drowning in educational flotsam.

And drum roll pah-leese, the #1 thing Richie learned on her rafting trip…

#1 Push Your Comfort Zone… 
OK, OK, OK so maybe it took a little bit of prodding and some assurances by both Josh and my husband, before I agreed to step outside my comfort zone. But stepping outside the predictable and venturing into the unknown did provide the "miles of smiles" promised for my rafting adventure as well as a new level of confidence--something difficult to achieve once you cross over the other side of 50.

So often our students fail in the classroom simply because they fear trying something new or fear moving beyond their own education comfort zone. We must remember to provide the necessary assurances for our kiddos to take the leap into uncharted waters and stretch themselves academically.

And perhaps more importantly, we should remember to step outside our own pedagogical comfort zone and take a risk with new methods, new materials and maybe even a new vision.

So that pretty much wraps up what I learned over my summer vacation. The next day as we headed back to the 100-plus temperatures wilting the great state of Texas, my husband and I groused about how we missed Josh and our river rafting adventure already.

In addition to referring to him as "a great/extraordinary guide,"  "the ever-patient Josh" and "all-around nice guy," we also added with a certain measure of sadness the following nomenclature: "Josh-the-son-in-law-we'll-never-have."

But that, my friends, is a story for another time and place. And yes, if my daughters ever read this post, they would be screaming, "OH MOM!" right about now.

But I don't care, I'm a Class III River Rafting fool.

Education Buzz: Life's a Carnival Taking a Break

I hope everyone had a terrific July 4th, and, in between celebrations with family and friends, I hope you also took a moment to be thankful for America. 

Today I was going to post the Independence Day Edition of the  Education Buzz: Life's a Carnival, but most of you have apparently taken the summer off. Most of the submissions were spam ranging from how to find a proper nanny to how to house train a puppy. All worthy topics, I'm sure, but not for here. No siree, Missy.

So after some thought and noticing that my summer is rapidly dwindling away, I decided to declare an Independence Day of my own and am taking a break. We'll regroup back here August 16 for our Back to School edition of the Education Buzz. I know most of you will have some sage words by then. 

Our deadline for our Back To School Edition will be Sunday, August 12. Obviously, please have your submissions loosely stick with the Back-to-School theme. I will post the link for the handy, dandy form as we get closer to the carnival time. (That way the spam may dwindle a bit, and besides, the site with the handy, dandy form was down.)

Email me if you have any questions or wish to host a carnival once we get back up and running. You can reach me at mybellringers@gmail.com. Until then, enjoy what is left of your summer!

Education Buzz: Life's a Carnival Hotter-Than-A-Habanero-Edition

Welcome to the Education Buzz: Life's a Carnival Hotter-Than-A Habanero-Edition, an eclectic smattering of educational type stuff buzzing about the EduSphere.

This little carnival is a hodge-podge of stuff with no real theme other than it's summer, it's hot, and I'm afraid if I think too much, my brain just might overheat. Besides, I've been too busy preparing for two summer workshops that will be here before you can say, "Wowie, zowie! It's a real scorcher today!"

So in no apparent order and with no apparent theme, I give you…

•"The Insanity of Allowing Phones In Class" posted by our friend Old Andrew over at Scenes from the Battleground. It's definitely a must read.

•According to recent research, education guru Joanne Jacobs says children's imaginations are still soaring even though kids have less play time.

•Before you hit the drive thru, you better know the rules. Check out Jane Goodwin's "Things Nice People Already Know: Drive Through Etiquette" over at Scheiss Weekly.

•For those of you interested in technology, Chris gives us "7 Cool Things To Do With Your USB Drive."

•Pat over at Successful Teaching gives us "Unveiling the Mystery of Project Based Learning" in a  webinar she gave at a seminar in South Carolina.

•If you're looking for some summer reading, Philip over at Writing to Comprehend, rather than to Express posts a with a book review of the Pulitzer Prize winning book, A Visit from the Goon Squad.

•Laura Weldon offers "ingenious and collaborative ways to flourish, with or without a degree."

•And for those of you science types, here's a list of 30 Twitter Hashtags for Science teachers.

•And finally, for those of you who practice yoga, you might be interested in reading Solstice Savasana written by Christina Bryza, a former student of mine.

Well, that's about it for the Education Buzz: Life's a Carnival Hotter-Than-A Habanero-Edition. Don't forget to join us again back here for the next edition of the Education Buzz: Life's A Carnival on July 5. The submission deadline is July 1. Use this handy, dandy form for your submissions.

If you find a broken link or have trouble with the submission form, please let me know at mybellringers@gmail.com.

If you would like to host an edition of the Education Buzz, let me know that as well.

As always…

“I’ve got this feeling that there’s something that I missed…”
–Snow Patrol

And, if I did, my apologies.