[Let's start the school year off right toward a healthier, leaner year. This article (still written by me) was first published as Get Ready for the 'I'm-Frying-In-My-Own-Fat' Weight Loss Challenge on Technorati.]
The 40 days of consecutive 100 plus degree temperatures ended just two days shy of matching the 1980 record of 42 consecutive 100-degree days.
I must admit it was somewhat of a disappointment for me as well as for others. One meteorologist told The Dallas Morning News, "It's the ultimate slap in the face. It's like your horse was in first place, and before crossing the finish line, it decided to stop running."
After all, if you have to survive 40 days of walking on the face of the sun, you might as well have bragging rights to breaking the record and surviving.
Of course, this wasn't the only numeric recording that failed dismally. It just wasn't marked with much fanfare. Now into my (cough cough) something year of attempting to lose weight, I have once again allowed my summer to pass with only one less pound to not show for it.
Sad I know.
All this hot air got me to thinking that perhaps it's time to launch the "I'm-Frying-In-My-Own-Fat" Weight Loss Challenge. Anyone else up to it?
It's not that I'm stupid when it comes to this. It's not that I don't exercise. I do. Even the training for the 3-day 60 mile walk for the Cure last year wasn't enough to shed the baggage.
And it's not that I don't eat well. I do. I don't eat fast food. I avoid fried foods. I don't drink sodas. I know it's all about portion control, and therein lies the problem. No self control, I suppose.
I know that there are programs out there to help people like me. My BFF has lost close to 30 pounds on one such program.
But I'm not much of a joiner in that regard, and I certainly don't have the money after my beach house in Denton renovation. I'm stubborn enough to believe if I set my mind to it, I can do it.
Dumb, I know.
I even got on that Oprah-Doctor-Oz Bandwagon and purchased that You on a Diet book last summer. I got to page 95.
Pathetic, I know.
But maybe, just maybe, if I have to publicly document my success and failure, I will finally lose some weight. So Monday, August 15 begins my official start of my "I'm-Frying-In-My-Own-Fat" Weight Loss Challenge. At the very least, it'll be an amusing distraction.
Here's the challenge: Let's try and lose some weight. Weigh in every Monday. You don't have to tell how much you actually weigh, just how much you lose or gain each week. Everyone says it's a good idea to log that sort of thing and keep track of what you eat and what you did.
Perhaps some public humiliation will work.
Or maybe not.
But what do we have to lose?
Except that fat.
The week before Spring Break was, well, “interesting.”
That’s my fill-in-the-blank word. You know those words–words you use when someone or something renders you speechless.
“Hmmm, that’s very interesting,” I’ll say when one of my students provides an answer or observation that makes no sense. And, as an added bonus, “very interesting” doesn’t diminish anyone’s self-of-steam.
“Interesting” also provides the perfect response when someone offers a suggestion or idea that makes me want to scream, “You big, fat, stupidhead!”
Instead, I can play nice and merely and politely say, “Why, how very interesting.”
It’s also a great answer to those no-win-are-you-still-beating-your- spouse-type questions. Just merely answer with, “My, now that’s an interesting question.”
And all of this interesting stuff brings me to my entertainment editor’s random, interesting outbursts.
Situation #1–A conversation about food and dieting
Jessica: “I need to eat healthy and lose weight.”
Me: “No, you don’t. You’re the size of a toothpick.”
Jessica: "You don’t know what’s going on under this shirt.”
See how my comment, “Hmmm, how interesting…” would fit in perfectly?
Situation #2–Working on stories
Jessica: “Mini Monkey Mints…”
Pizza Andy & Katelyn: “Alliteration…”
Me: “What?”
Jessica: “I couldn’t remember that word.”
Me: “Mini Monkey Mints?”
Jessica: “No, alliteration…”
Me: “Why are you writing about Mini Monkey Mints?”
See, I should have just said, “Hmmm, interesting” and moved on…
Situation #3–Jessica was working on her fashion critiques. I had asked her earlier to check on a student for me.
Me: “What did she say?”
Jessica: “Floral print shoes.”
Me: Silence. (I’ve got nothing here.)
Allison: “You know, like the shoes with the flowers on them.”
Me: “Yes, I know what floral print shoes are, but what does that have to do with Courtney? Is she wearing them? What did she say about the Andy’s tape?”
Jessica: “Ohhhhh, the tape. Courtney. I didn’t go yet.”
Me thinking about big, fat…Oh, you know the rest…but try as they might they are not going to make me say it…
Floral print shoes
Me saying, “Oh my goodness…”
Floral print shoes
Me thinking next time: “Hmmm…That’s very interesting…”
