Very Important Blogger Stuff

Please indulge me for just a moment and allow me to pretend that I am a VIB (Very Important Blogger).

This past week or so I’ve had a request to review a book for free, the chance to get some free rock climbing stuff (yeah, as if I can get my backside up a mountain side) in exchange for embedding some advertisement hoopdedo on my blog, and, of course, my personal favorite–you’re a winner on the big Google 500 Thousand British Pounds give away (as if I know how much that is).

But I am somewhat excited about being listed in the… could we pah-leese have little drum roll here…in the Number 11 spot of the “100 Most Inspiring and Innovative Blogs for Educators.” Now if I were a cynic, I would believe that the site that posted this list was appealing to my ego (which we’ve already established is more or less the size of a barn) and was hoping that I was vain enough to mention the list and post the link.

So let’s go over this again…Hmmm…If ego is to barn as vain is to post, then yes siree, Missy, count me in. I’m there. I did it. Go ahead and zip on over there and check out the other blogs. You might find some of them interesting.

In the meantime, maybe I should contact that Newton Brown guy at Google and see about those 500,000 pounds.

As if.

Whining, Voting & Blogger Awards

We may just have to briefly suspend the normal operating rules of this blog. Since its creation in September of 2007, Bellringers has proudly been a No Whining blog. OK, so I’ll admit I’ve come mighty close a time or two, but I have always managed to back away from the precipice of Whine Central.

But today, well today, with one toe poised over the edge of the Whining Abyss, I think it’s time to just dive right into that whining pool, get it over with, dry myself off and move on. You see, this voting thing for “Best Blog This” and “Best Blog That” filled my head with those VIB thoughts again. (You know, those Very Important Blogger thoughts.)

Pathetic, I know. I’m such an easy mark.

People’s Exhibit #1-- I used to get excited when I would receive emails from Oprah. My heart would start jumping when I’d see in the subject line: “Carol, Oprah needs your help…” I’d think to myself, “Yep, me and the O are tight, practically sisters.”

That is, of course, until I remembered that I signed up for her newsletter, and that in some dank Chicago basement Hal the computer spews a gazillion of those emails to a gazillion email accounts “personalizing” each and every one.

Now, remember I’ve been honest about this before and have readily admitted that I do have an ego roughly the size of a barn, so you can see how easy it is for me to get carried away when I get nominated for something, anything. Hails Bails, I would get excited for being nominated the The-Non-Fat-Three-Raw Sugar-Latte-Guzzling-Queen.

So when my friend over at Scholastic Scribe tells me about a Best Education Blog nomination, what do I do? I do what any non-self-respecting blogger would do--I cajole friends, acquaintances, strangers and derelicts to vote for me.

Then, flushed with anticipation, I zip to check the vote count on whatever awards site is currently up. Clean my glasses. Re-check the vote count. Re-clean my glasses. Re-check the vote count. Sigh loudly. (OK, so it’s more like a harrumph). After a final re-check of votes, I finally come to terms with the very sad fact that my number barely hovers above the single digits.

Even sadder still, of course, is that of those votes, four come from my family.

But let’s go even a step further beyond the realm of more pathetic. Yep, you’ve probably guessed it by now. Since I have a 17 year old who can hate me on any given day, I hacked into her email and cast her vote for her. I figured at some point in her life she would want something from good ole Mom, find a warm fuzzy feeling for me and cast her ballot in the affirmative.

Yeah, pathetic I know.


On the I-Really-Am-Not-The-Most-Pathetic-Person-On-The-Planet side of all this, at least I resisted the temptation to open an email account for my dog Jack and have him vote for me. (And I don’t care what you say, just thinking about it doesn’t count.)

I know you’re probably feeling just a tad bit sorry for me about now and perhaps just a smidge tired of all this whining… Quite frankly I am too. I’m also pretty sure you’re wondering how in the Sam Hill any of this whining has to do with education. (Jeez Louise, work with me here. I’m getting to all of that.) So, my peeps, I decided that perhaps the best way to get out of this wallowing in self-pity thing was to put on my snazzy tiara and come up with a set up awards that perhaps someone like me (or maybe even you) could actually win…

So here it goes…

Richie’s Top 5 blogger awards

#5…The Oh-No-O Blogger Award… Goes to those bloggers (like me and Mr. Teacher) who believe Oprah will actually read their blog some day, “discover” them and invite them on her show and give them free stuff.

#4…The Have-Some-Whine-With-Your-Cheese-Award…Proudly goes to an educator who whines the best about stuff worthy of whining about. My personal favorite still would have to be Mimi’s post way back in September on “My Kingdom For A Parking Space.”

#3…The Blagojevich Blog Award…Handed out to those who, you know, attempt to control the outcome of things, but fail rather pathetically. (Kind of like that someone who hacked into her daughter’s email and cast that vote.)

#2…The Set-My-Hair-On-Fire Award… Given to those teachers who--when faced with insurmountable odds--may think about setting their hair on fire and run screaming from the building, but instead, reach into their Emergency Chocolate Drawer, clench their teeth, gain five pounds and defy all the Naysaying-Know-Nothing-Nincompoops. (I think Edna Lee would be a good candidate. I still love to read “What do you mean Billy fell off a cliff?”

And, drum-roll pah-leese… the Number 1 Blogger Award of All Time is…


#1…The Big-Fat-Stupid-Head Award…(Jeez Louise, you were expecting something different? And, no this does not stop the BFSH timer. Remember all rules were suspended for this particular post.) Now, I know some of you think you can win this award, but surely, on any given day, I’ve got this one pretty much covered.

I bet my vote count would soar into the triple digits, and I wouldn’t even need Jack’s vote.

FERPA, Ninnyhammers & Clock Stoppers

Some of you may recall when I chatted--OK, so make that ranted--about FERPA (the Family Educational Rights & Privacy Act) that initially was enacted to protect the confidentiality of kiddos’ education records. Despite its original intent, school districts across the land went bat-crack crazy and decided to FERPA-ize everything, and, in the process, terrorize student publications advisers. (You can read about it here, here and here.)

Now my buddies at the Student Press Law Center tell me that the DOE (Department of Education) apparently has gone beyond bat-crack crazy and enacted some additional changes to FERPA that are slated to take effect Jan. 8.

I got a nice little email supposedly from Frank LoMonte himself (the executive director of the SPLC) asking if I would chat about it. OK, so he didn’t use the word chat exactly. I, of course, ever-so-easily flattered thought once again I must be a VIB (Very Important Blogger) to have received such a request. That is until I remembered that this nice little email was probably a mass emailing sent by some computer in a backroom. But, oh well, it’s important enough to chat about even if I can’t be a VIB.

You see, these new rules broaden what the DOE considers to be confidential education records to include basic stuff like statistical data about school safety, discipline and academic performance if school officials think that the person requesting the information or even kiddos on campus can figure out who the information might be about.

Personally, I like the DOE’s illustration of compliance for this new FERPA rule. Under the new guidelines, school officials would not be able to confirm whether it disciplined a student for bringing a gun on campus if the identity of the gun-wielding student could be known to other kids on campus. Because, after all, it’s more important to protect the identity of felons instead of telling students, parents or teachers of impending doom or what steps were taken to deal with said impending doom. No siree, Missy, we’ll have none of that. Hush, hush, don’t say a word.

My new buddy over at the Student Press Law Center tells me, “The DOE simply said that accountability doesn’t matter and that its only concern is secrecy.”

Now, all that nonsense got me to thinking, and by-golly, we all know what happens when that happens. Jeez Louise. But let’s just think about what a fab-u-lous idea it would be to FERPA-ize everything. Everything. Just think about it. Here’s my list…

Richie’s Top 5 list of things to FERPA-ize

#5…Spelling Bees…Those little competitions would have to be the first to go because everyone would know when someone gets an answer wrong, and OMG, we can’t have that now can we? Someone might be identified as a ninnyhammer, n-i-n-n-y-h-a-m-m-e-r, ninnyhammer.

#4…Group work and Project Presentations… Fugettaboutit. No longer can kids work on anything together or present their projects to the class because then everyone would know who did a good job and who didn’t, who were the slackers and who were the workers, who deserved an “A” and who deserved a big, fat zero. Kind of like in the work place, don’t ya know, but no siree, we can’t have that now, can we?

#3… Discipline referral forms… Gone. Sorry. No can do. I’d tell you why I wrote that referral form out, but then I’d have to…Oops, I better not finish that statement… Oh, wait, I guess I could finish that statement because aren’t we protecting felons now? No one would ever know. Shhhhhhhh.

#2…Fitness tests… We’re actually conducting fitness tests at my school, but I guess I better sound the alarm and make everyone stop. (I know my out-of-shape newspaper staff would be thrilled.) Yep, I guess we better stop because we wouldn’t want for anyone to know who came in first or last in that dash around the track. Nope, those times better be top secret stuff locked away along with those Push Up Test results. We wouldn’t want for anyone to get a hold of those dangerous stats.

#1…Grades… Yep, I’m going to have to take a stand here and tell my principal that I’m sorry, but I just don’t think I can turn in any grades of any kind any more. No siree. Just in case someone might know or divine who got an “A” or a “B” or a “C” or a whatever. Hey, perhaps FERPA-izing everything wouldn’t be so bad after all. Accountability? Who cares?

Maybe we should just rename the DOE to the DOBFSH––Department of Big Fat Stupid Heads.

But then I’d have to stop my Big Fat Stupid Head Counter.

Consider it done at 111 days, 16 hours, 19 minutes and 28 seconds.

Free Stuff, VIBs & Book Reviews

OK, I might as well admit it–I love free stuff (but I hardly ever get free stuff unless you count the samples they give out in grocery stores). Pathetic, I know.

So, my friends, when I got an email from a very nice marketing assistant hawking a free copy of Peg Tyre’s book, the Trouble With Boys, if I would just read it and review it or discuss it on my blog, well a few things crossed my mind. (Yeah, I know, it’s those darn tootin’ things again.)

“Yippee! Free stuff for me!” was, of course, Thing Number 1 that crossed my mind.

That, however, was closely followed by Thing Number 2–“Jeepers, I bet that very nice marketing assistant (much less Ms. Tyre) has never, ever read my blog. Otherwise both shes probably wouldn’t appreciate this very seriously researched book on a very seriously important subject reviewed/discussed/mentioned by a not-so-serious journalism adviser.”

Now, if I’m being totally honest, there also was Thing Number 3. For a brief egocentric moment, I thought to myself, “Woo-ho, I must be a VIB--as in Very Important Blogger--for someone to offer me free stuff.”

Thing Number 3 lasted, oh, about a nanosecond when I figured out the nice little email was probably a mass emailing and the very nice marketing assistant was probably some computer in a backroom named Nicole. Kind of like Hal from 2001: A Space Odyssey, but nicer.

So for another fleeting moment, I thought I would just ignore the offer and go on about my quirky non-free stuff existence.

Still, it was free stuff after all (and I never get free stuff)… so speedy quick I responded, “Send it,” and for about a week, “The Trouble with Boys" went back and forth with me to work and started an entire listing in my head about how I could write volumes about “The Trouble With Richie.” But then I figured that probably wasn’t what computer Nicole had in mind when she said “review,” and so that is how “The Boys” accompanied me on my recent flight to Colorado to take care of family stuff (along with the 20 or so yearbook pages to edit).

Hmmm…Are you wondering which one won my time? Kind of a no-brainer there. “The Boys” won without even a run-off over reading those yearbook pages (which I’m sure thrills the crack fire out of my yearbook rep).

Now I really only intended to read just a few pages. Instead, I rather surprised myself and kept turning the pages. I’m more than half way through and highly recommend it. (And, I’m not just saying that because the book was free.)

Let me just share one anecdote from the book. Picture a second grade class. They are supposed to be working on a one page essay in their journals. One boy hides under his desk with a pencil tip in his ear. A classroom observer bends down and asked him what he’s doing…

He stared at her for a moment, then whispered, “Scratching my ear.”
Costello tried again. “Why are you under the desk?” she said keeping her voice low.
The boy tried to explain. “The teacher said we should write about anything,” he said, then fell silent.
“And?” prompted Costello.
“I don't know what to write.”

Let me just say I have big kids in high school who would curl up under a desk if they could fit there. Hails Bails, half the time I want to curl up under a desk, too.

But what this book does is make you think about all the things (yep, those things again) we do to kids--intentionally and unintentionally--and to boys specifically. And those things aren’t good things either. The problem with a book like this, though, is that it makes people tend to gloss over a very important point…

Good teachers are, well, good teachers. There I said it. We teach kids and we do it well. We view kids individually and adapt our lessons accordingly. That’s just what we do.

Now, aren’t you glad I got that free book? At least I didn’t have to curl up under my desk because I couldn’t think of something to blog about. And, as a nice added bonus, for a fleeting moment, I got to pretend to be a VIB.

Well, I’ve gotta go now and head off to the grocery store. You know, for that free stuff.