Over the weekend, I fired my VP of Humor Control (but I didn’t tell her), but don’t worry about her. I figure it will take her at least a good 11 days before she notices, and by that time, I probably would have rehired her anyway. That’s what happens when one stumbles into the realm of irrelevancy.
I seem to be doing that a lot lately…the stumbling, so I thought perhaps we could stumble together through my Top 5 List of Things That Make Me Irrelevant.
#5… I took my fired VP to Austin for a college day at the University of Texas campus. While there, we visited the drag–Guadalupe Street. While all the shops oozed cuteness and beckoned us shopaholics, I must admit that there probably was not one thing I could squeeze into (so much for the Biggest Loser program), but more importantly, even if I could have, I most definitely should not have.
#4… Recently, I discovered that anything that I might suggest has as much of a chance of eliciting a positive response from those who fit into the demographics of being able to squeeze into that clothing on Guadalupe Street as Ralph Nader does of winning a run at the White House. (In case you were wondering, those demographics pretty much include all the children in all my classes as well as my former VP.)
#3… After 22 years of teaching and surviving (thus far) nine principals, seven superintendents and four school districts (if you count my student teaching a gazillion years ago), I finally have allowed myself to be annoyed by the moronic musings of lilly-livered nincompoops.
#2… The fact that I can readily amuse myself with alliterations and by using the word “nincompoop” just underscores my irrelevantness.
And finally…can anyone anywhere give us a drum roll pah-leese…
The No. 1 Thing That Makes Me Irrelevant… I’ve pretty much given up on playing Classic Rock songs for my Journalism I class while they write their daily journal entries after I put on “Can’t You Hear Me Knockin’” by the Rolling Stones and the kids thought we were going to play Guitar Hero.
Jeez Louise as if I’ve ever played.
