Can You Hear Me Now?

[This post was first published as Can You Hear Me Now? on Technorati.]

Every Friday we have current events day in my journalism class. Students bring in news stories and we discuss interesting things going on in the world.

Some of those discussions can be pretty interesting as we attempt to make sense of the world we live in.

Take for instance an article one student brought in about a North Texas man whose smartphone supposedly exploded injuring his ear. The man needed four stitches to fix his ear, and, according to news reports, he said he planned to contact the company for some "help"  and he planned to contact an attorney as well.  I'm pretty sure all of that talk was simply code for "Give me some money, honey, or I'm suing you." 

But the article wasn't nearly as interesting as the Q&A that followed the story summary.

"Any questions or comments?" I asked the class.

"Yeah," one student said. "Why did he put his phone in his beer?"

"What?" the entire class asked.

"Why was his phone in his beer?" the student persisted.

"Why in the world are we talking about beer?" I asked.

Finally another student came to the rescue and said, "She didn't say the phone fell in his beer. She said the phone exploded in his ear."

"Oh," the confused student said, "now that makes more sense."

My Sunny Disposition, Pell Grants & Pilgrims

I do believe I would have had a better week if I had just set my hair on fire and run screaming from the building.

And, no, my dears, that statement was not meant as a lesson in hyperboles or histrionics. Sadly, my life tends to be one big, fat hyperbole punctuated with an inordinate amount of Big Fat Stupid Heads. But since this is a no whining blog, I’m going to stop the pity party.

Suffice it to say if you had had to walk in my shoes this week, well, I think you would have chunked them at the nearest target in a fit of protest and run away.

I think all of this had to do with being on newspaper deadline, yearbook deadline and  progress report deadline. And, of course, it didn’t help my sunny disposition when I didn’t win a door prize at the faculty Christmas party either.


And, of course, my sunny disposition is getting just a tad tired waiting for Oprah to get back to me on my book. (Oh, come now, don’t be a dream-killing-naysayer. I know I stand about as much a chance of that happening as, well, winning a darn-tootin-door-prize at the faculty Christmas party.)

All of this angst was exacerbated by the fact that my newspaper editor and news editor made fun of my previous post regarding the purchase of my new $98 skin care regimen. (They made little snide remarks like “Did you really pay $98?!” and “Do you really think it’s working at all?…” or my favorite, “Maybe you should try the stuff my mother uses. That seems to work.”

I suppose, though, the most unsettling thing occurred while my journalism class was sharing their current events. If you think the under 25 set listens to even a fraction of what you or anyone else says, you would be sadly mistaken, Missy. In fact, I’m not sure they listen to anyone. Here’s my proof…


One student shared a story about how there was an $18 million shortfall in the Pell Grant program.

“Why are Pell Grants important to you?” I asked the class.

“Because they gave us Thanksgiving…” one student answered.


“What?” I along with the rest of the class said (perhaps a bit too loudly). 

“What in the world are you talking about?” I asked.


“Oh, wait,” he said, “it’s because they discovered America…” 

 “What?” I said—this time walking over to the nearest chair to sit down.

 “Pilgrims,” he said.

 “Pell Grants,” I said.

 “I thought you said Pilgrims,” he replied.

 I didn’t have the heart to tell him that neither the Pell Grants nor the Pilgrims discovered America.

Thing 1, Thing 2 & Fish Clappers

(Writers note: This post was featured first on Technorati this week. Please excuse my lateness and my laziness for not posting something different, but I’ve been battling high school germ cooties. Despite my Clorox wipes, Lysol spray and hand sanitizer, I still feel as if I’m living in a petri dish.)

In my little world, Friday brings two things. For fun, let’s call these things “Thing 1” and “Thing 2.”

Thing 1… Every Friday morning, I reward myself for surviving the week with my requisite nonfat, three raw sugar latte. If you’ve ever had the privilege of teaching in a high school, you’re probably saying, “Amen sister!” right about now. (A few of you may even be ordering a double shot of something.)

Thing 2… Somewhere along the way I thought it would be a fabulous idea to institute a weekly Current Events Day. (After all, I teach a journalism class.)

Friday’s class goes something like this… The kiddos bring in an article that interests them. Each kid talks about his article. Then other kids comment about the article. Then we all applaud with these nifty little fish clappers I purchased on line.

Sometimes, though, the comment portion makes me just want to whack myself in the head with those fish clappers. Last week I smacked myself twice. One kid tried to convince the rest of us that President Obama won two Nobel Peace Prizes, and another kid, like, used the word, like, oh, I don’t know, like, about 20 times in, like, 20, like, seconds. (I bet you’re, like, wanting to borrow those clappers, like, right about now.)

But besides those two minor incidents, most of the class brought in two articles that mirrored the buzz around the nation. For fun, we’ll call these things “Thing 1” and “Thing 2.”

Thing 1… The story of the 6-year-old Colorado boy who was thought to have been inside a wayward weather balloon, but was later found hiding in his family’s garage attic.

Thing 2… The story of a 6-year-old New York Cub Scout who was suspended from school for bringing his little Cub Scout camping utensil to eat his lunch.

In Thing 1, my journalism kids pretty much agreed with the buzz across the nation that a family who appears on a reality show like “Wife Swap,” claims to have flown alien spaceships in a previous life, and then makes the media circuit (even though their kid throws up twice) is probably just a tad to the left of crazy. Even the kids questioned whether the ordeal was a publicity stunt before the sheriff’s department announced that charges would be filed in the incident.

In Thing 2… Some in the class argued in favor of leaving cute little Zachary alone and putting him back in school. Others favored punishing the 6 year old. It’s the old Zero Tolerance faction pitted against the Use Discretion and Common Sense faction.

Just like in the national arena, we didn’t resolve the Zero Tolerance issue either, but at least, we got to use the fish clappers and dispel the two Nobel Peace Prize rumor.

Now about that “like” thing. Well, that’s going to take, like, more then, like, my clapping fish and one Friday to handle. Let me, like, get back to you on that one.