Melancholy, Journalism Day & A Few of My Favorite Things

I’d like to say my brief blogging hiatus was the result of some fun-filled extravaganza involving sandy beaches, shopping and sunshine. (Don’t ya just love alliterations?)

Instead, it was more like a melancholy malaise brought about by a wide collection of things…my father’s illness and death, the impending doom we call yearbook, and let’s not forget that smorgasbord of angst dished out by this thing we call life.

You see, I was waiting to see if all this melancholy would disapparate and my FunnyBack would return. Then, I realized if I waited for that to happen, why that could possibly take, like, forever. Some things you just have to work at to make happen. (And we all know how I feel about things.) So as I was saying, some things you just have to work at to make happen–kind of like those 150 or so yearbook page proofs (which btw got mailed Friday).

So-o-o-o let’s all do the dance of joy for that–and hope none of those pages contain anything that should have been in the “Things That Will Get You Fired Folder.” Yes siree, Missy, there’s no telling what is lurking out there. I did catch the Sports Studs headline. (Jeez Louise, what were they thinking?)

In addition to slogging through all those page proofs last week, we also attended the Dallas Morning News High School Journalism Day. I must say my kids looked fab-u-lous… so fab-u-lous, in fact, that I told them it didn’t matter if we didn’t win anything, at least we were the best looking bunch. I also got to embarrass all of them by bringing the chicken, sitting him at our table and making our photo editor take pictures of him. Hails bails, it doesn’t get much better than that.

All in all, it was a great day filled with some of my most favorite things. Here’s my list of…

A few of Richie’s favorite things…

#5…An unending supply of free Starbucks coffee
#4…A free tasty little continental breakfast and a free tasty three-course lunch
#3…Time to actually eat said tasty free breakfast and lunch
#2…No bells. None. Zero. Zippo. Crack fire, I get goose bumps just thinking about it.

And, drum roll pah-leese… Richie’s No. 1 favorite thing…My kiddos winning some awards.

Yep… as politically incorrect as that sounds, I love it when the kids win. Remember, this isn’t the YMCA. Winning matters. Competition matters. Success matters. And yeah, I know I told them that they looked so fab-u-lous winning didn’t matter, but Jeez Louise, we’re not in cosmetology.

Next weekend is the big state journalism convention in Austin. I get to spend three days with 13 teenagers. (Can’t you just feel the excitement oozing?)

Let’s hope we come back with some more awards (the newspaper is up for a state Star. Woo-hoo!)

If not, I’m teaching a session on blogging. Maybe I can finally hand out some of those cards I never got to give out in New York City. And, of course, the chicken is coming along.

Who needs sand and sunshine when I’ve got kids, Austin and the chicken?

OK, OK OK, so maybe I did book a trip to Barbados with my BFF Jennifer. After all, the chicken can only take you so far.

FunnyBack, Cell Phones & Beat the Teacher Night

I need to get my FunnyBack.

Last week just didn’t bring too many ha-ha’s my way. For goodness sake, I even yelled at my yearbook rep, and I never do that. (OK, so maybe I do just a little bit, but only to keep things interesting and to keep him in line because I do actually like him.)

Perhaps it was that newspaper deadline that beat me down.

Or maybe it was the end of the six weeks and grades were due.

Or perhaps, it’s because I realized even though we knocked one six weeks out, there are still five more to go.

Or maybe it’s because children--no matter how much you like them--sometimes just suck the life right out of you.

Sometimes I feel like a trader on Wall Street without a $700 billion bailout in sight.

And for all those clinging optimists out there, let me just say next week doesn’t hold much promise either with Beat the Teacher Night--oh, wait, make that MEET the Teacher Night--on the schedule.

So back to trying to get that ole FunnyBack…

I did manage to overhear one rather amusing story. One of my staffers was grounded for grades and had to surrender her beloved cell phone. Now we all know how catastrophic surrendering one’s cell phone can be for teens, and we all know how teens (like 3-year-olds in a grocery store demanding chocolate) make numerous attempts to wear you down.

Well, in effort to get partial visitation with her cell phone, our intrepid staffer whined to her mom about how unsafe it could be to not have a cell phone. What about kidnappers? Rapists? Stalkers? Robbers? Her crazy journalism adviser?

OMG, she had me convinced there was absolutely no way our staffer could safely walk through the brightly-lit school parking lot to catch that big yellow school bus home. No siree, Missy.

Staffer…“…so I told my mom how dangerous it was to be without a phone, you know, in case of an emergency…”

The rest of the staff… “Yeah, so what did she say…”

Staffer…“Well, later she said I was right and handed me this phone…”

The rest of the staff seemed a bit puzzled…

Staffer…“Just look at it!”

Everyone peered at said cell phone. It seemed OK.

Staffer…“Just look at it!” (now illuminating the offending screen) You can only dial 9-1-1, you know, for emergencies…”

Apparently 9-1-1 emergencies were not the kind of emergencies our staffer was anticipating or wanting to use the cell phone for…

I just hope her mom comes to Beat Meet the Teacher night.

I think she deserves to wear the tiara.

Hails Bails, I think maybe I’ll buy her one.

TAKS Testing, Ninth Graders & Lions

Somehow I’ve got to get my FunnyBack. If you find it, let me know.

I lost it sometime after my Austin trip, but definitely before the great March blizzard of 2008 that forced (much to the delight of everyone involved) a two-hour delay of school on Friday–and all for a picturesque dusting of snow. Ah, just another reason to love Texas.

I guess I probably lost it–my FunnyBack that is, not my mind nor the snow–somewhere in the vicinity of administering the state mandated ELA TAKS test. (Don’t you just hate it when your conversation starts to sound rather alphabet-soupish?)

OK, so let’s get back to the administration of the test.

I had ninth graders.

They finished way before the 10th graders.

And they finished way, way, way–did I say way?– before the 11th graders.

Our lucky 12th graders and their homeroom teachers got to spend the day noshing and reminiscing at the senior breakfast.

Did I mention I had ninth graders?

They finished way before 10th graders.

And they finished way, way, way, way before those 11th graders.

Ninth graders.

I felt much like Ethan Hunt in Mission Impossible when he receives his assignment…

“Your mission, should you decide to accept it…”

Except I don’t recall this mission being optional.

And, I’m pretty sure Mr. Super Spy Ethan Hunt, once he discovered the mission was to keep a room full of beady-eyed ninth graders quiet for no less than three hours after they finished their test, would have said, “No siree” and high-tailed it out of there. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure he never would have survived for M:I2 or M:I3.

In Mission Impossible, the powers-that-be say they will “disavow any knowledge,” and of course, all evidence self-destructs in seconds.

Did I mention I had ninth graders?

And I had to keep them quiet for no less than three hours?

Next time just throw me to the lions and let’s call it a day.

Carnival of Education Is Out

The latest Carnival of Education is out. Apparently my children slipped a few bucks under the table to make sure the FunnyBack post (Mom, IT’S EMBARRASSING!) didn’t get more play because it wasn’t accepted. Ah, well, there’s plenty of interesting things there for you to read. And, hey, you can always sing the FunnyBack song while you read.