Deadline Survivor, Things That Will Get You Fired & Global Warming

One of these days I think I’ll make up a little ribbon pin or a button of some sort that says “Newspaper Deadline Survivor” or “Yearbook Deadline Survivor” –except I don’t know if anyone ever really truly survives a publications deadline.

Perhaps a better version would be…“Newspaper Deadline–No one gets out of here alive,” but then again, we’d probably have some copyright issues to deal with since there’s a book floating around by that name. So much for my cleverness.

Regardless, I am again a Newspaper Deadline Survivor, and that, dear friends, is always cause for the Dance of Joy, so let’s just briefly recap some of the high points of the week. Or uh, perhaps we should call them low points? Hails bails, I think we’ll just call them points of the week. Yep, that’s probably the most politically correct phraseology (and no, I’m not making up words, although I could if I wanted to). I’ll just throw three things out there for you to ruminate about. (Yes siree, Missy, we’ve got that SAT word thing going on again.)

Item #1…One of the kids asked this week if the Super Bowl was Super Bowl Number 4. I guess all those Roman numerals threw them off.

Item #2…I quietly slipped something into my “Things That Will Get You Fired” folder. I would elaborate, but then this would become a “thing that will get you fired,” and we all know how I feel about those things.

Item #3…I sent Mikey the Extraordinaire to the library to check out the Rolling Stone movie “Shine A Light” for me because, well, everyone knows how much I love the Greatest Rock ’n’ Roll Band of All Time. (Besides, one look at Keith Richards, and I don’t feel so old anymore. Sorry, Keith.)

Well, someone asked Mr. Mikey if the DVD was for my “personal” use or if I was going to show it to my students because we aren’t allowed to show movies with a PG-13 rating or higher. This, of course, was from the same library that handed me a great DVD about photographer Annie Leibovitz but nonetheless contained lots of naked folks. In case you were wondering, naked folks (you know, people sans clothing) are exactly the kind of things that immediately get stashed in the “Things That Will Get You Fired” folder (which btw is starting to get just a tad bit overcrowded).

But golly geewillikers, all of that got me to thinking (and we all know what happens when that happens). I’m still rather shocked at the question. Did they really think someone would show Mick and the boys to a class? Well, I got to thinking, and now I’m still stuck at wondering just how one would justify showing “Shine A Light” to one’s class, you know, if one actually wanted to. Common sense would tell one that if one wished to continue to remain employed that Mick and the boys should immediately get stuffed into the Things folder. Don’t you think?

And speaking of things, I do have one more thing…One of my editors wrote a great line in her column that I intend to purloin (ah, another SAT word alert!). Poor thing said she was going to be grounded for her grades until global warming ended.

I think Mick’s going to stay in the Things folder along with Annie until, you guessed it, global warming ends.