Sunday, November 23, 2008

Thanksgiving Break, Magic Things & Miracles

With the Thanksgiving Break upon us and an entire week week off, I thought I should write about “Richie’s 5 things to be thankful for,” but that list sounded too much like some sappy Oprah gratitude show, and, as you know, I just don’t sap well.

Then, after that idea, I got rather sidetracked thinking about how I needed to clarify that whole “aren’t-you-lucky-to-be-a-teacher-and-have-an-entire-week-off” thing.

I don’t know about you, but quite a big chunk of my “aren’t-you-lucky-to-be-a-teacher-and-have-an-entire-week-off” thing will be filled with that whole “fix-and-mail-those-56-yearbook-pages” thing followed closely by the “fix-and-mail-those-gazillion-photo-proof-pages” thing, and then, just in case I actually thought I might enjoy some of that “aren’t-you-lucky-to-be-a-teacher-and-have-an-entire-week-off” free time thing, there still are those four sets of lesson plans that need to be done. At least, all I need to do there is transcribe those lessons from my brain to the appropriate lesson plan form.

The lesson plan thing, though, really got me to thinking about things. (I know, I know, I know. We all know what happens when that happens.) Still, I got to thinking about things that would make my life (and probably yours, too) easier and better. Here’s my list in no particular order…

Random Things Richie Believes
Would Make Our Lives Easier and Better


  • The Magic Copy Machine…Since most of us seem to store our lesson plans in our brains, wouldn’t it be great if we could just xerox our brains? How fabulous would that be? Unless, of course, Mr. Xerox machine spewed out blank pages… then that would be rather un-fab-u-lous. Still, the possibilities…
  • Magic Classroom Clappers…Most of you probably remember those cheesy clapper commercials. (Clap On! Clap Off! And your lights automatically go on or off. You can watch the commercial here.) Think how wonderful it would be if we could clap once and students would be quiet. Clap twice and they could talk again. Clap once. Quiet. Clap twice. Talk. Clap once… Well, you get the picture.
  • Magic Grading Stairs…I often find myself saying, “This job would be great if it weren’t for the grading.” (Can I at least get an “Amen!” brothers and sisters?) What if you could just toss your papers up the Magic Grading Stairs and they would fall magically where they belonged? You know, the “A” papers would land on the “A” stairs, the “B” papers on the “B” stairs and so forth and so on? As an added bonus, if anyone complained about their grade, why you could just refer them to the manufacturer’s Customer Service Hotline at 1-800-WHINERS. How nifty neat-o would that be?
  • The Magic PhotoShop Filter…Now this one may be lost on those of you not familiar with the publications industry, but most of you are at least familiar with re-touching photographs. I often find myself wishing I could walk about with my own invisible PhotoShop filter. You know, so that when people saw me, age lines were removed, pounds gone and muscles toned. You know, so that I would look younger, thinner and taller. Maybe like, oh perhaps, Angelina Jolie.
OK, OK, OK, so I’d probably need more than just a PhotoShop filter for that.

I think they call that a miracle, but ’tis the season, isn’t it?

8 comments:

margaret said...

yes, yes, yessss....I want the Magic Clapper!!!
I'd be ok, if there were a USB port to my brain...I could edit, my plans theoretically.

mybellringers said...

Margaret,
I LOVE the USB port idea… If only we could… sigh.

ms-teacher said...

I so want the magic grading stairs. So far this week-end, I've graded 1 set of tets, and 2 sets of 2 assignments. I have more to do!

Break? What break!

Mister Teacher said...

How about the Magic Exerciser since we never can find the time to work out?

teach5 said...

I could do the lesson plan from the brain thing, but at MY school I have to put the appropriate state standard number AND write out the standard, for everything in the plan book. And then I have to do the whole, "Today, students will be able to:" on the board someplace in the room-----every day. Never mind MY KIDS CAN'T READ YET.....

Miss W said...

Yes, I *love* it when people comment on the amount of time I *have off*. If they only knew how many hours I actually work! I try not to think about it myself...

Melissa B. said...

Thanks for the chuckle. Well, more than a chuckle. Can I get a Guffaw for that, brothers & sisters? We've just emerged from Yearbook Deadline #2 Hell, and I don't even have a week off to nurse my wounds. Instead, I'm going to be celebrating the "oh, goody, I get to write college recs" time off. Not so sure I can say "Amen!" to that!

Kelley said...

OK. I know this is not going to be nice, but I will have to say that I do not miss the grading or the lesson planning. However, I had mastered the art of not having to write them from scratch each year...I just had to tweak them to fit the new year. Now, if only I could find that USB drive...