With the Thanksgiving Break upon us and an entire week week off, I thought I should write about “Richie’s 5 things to be thankful for,” but that list sounded too much like some sappy Oprah gratitude show, and, as you know, I just don’t sap well.
Then, after that idea, I got rather sidetracked thinking about how I needed to clarify that whole “aren’t-you-lucky-to-be-a-teacher-and-have-an-entire-week-off” thing.
I don’t know about you, but quite a big chunk of my “aren’t-you-lucky-to-be-a-teacher-and-have-an-entire-week-off” thing will be filled with that whole “fix-and-mail-those-56-yearbook-pages” thing followed closely by the “fix-and-mail-those-gazillion-photo-proof-pages” thing, and then, just in case I actually thought I might enjoy some of that “aren’t-you-lucky-to-be-a-teacher-and-have-an-entire-week-off” free time thing, there still are those four sets of lesson plans that need to be done. At least, all I need to do there is transcribe those lessons from my brain to the appropriate lesson plan form.
The lesson plan thing, though, really got me to thinking about things. (I know, I know, I know. We all know what happens when that happens.) Still, I got to thinking about things that would make my life (and probably yours, too) easier and better. Here’s my list in no particular order…
Would Make Our Lives Easier and Better
- The Magic Copy Machine…Since most of us seem to store our lesson plans in our brains, wouldn’t it be great if we could just xerox our brains? How fabulous would that be? Unless, of course, Mr. Xerox machine spewed out blank pages… then that would be rather un-fab-u-lous. Still, the possibilities…
- Magic Classroom Clappers…Most of you probably remember those cheesy clapper commercials. (Clap On! Clap Off! And your lights automatically go on or off. You can watch the commercial here.) Think how wonderful it would be if we could clap once and students would be quiet. Clap twice and they could talk again. Clap once. Quiet. Clap twice. Talk. Clap once… Well, you get the picture.
- Magic Grading Stairs…I often find myself saying, “This job would be great if it weren’t for the grading.” (Can I at least get an “Amen!” brothers and sisters?) What if you could just toss your papers up the Magic Grading Stairs and they would fall magically where they belonged? You know, the “A” papers would land on the “A” stairs, the “B” papers on the “B” stairs and so forth and so on? As an added bonus, if anyone complained about their grade, why you could just refer them to the manufacturer’s Customer Service Hotline at 1-800-WHINERS. How nifty neat-o would that be?
- The Magic PhotoShop Filter…Now this one may be lost on those of you not familiar with the publications industry, but most of you are at least familiar with re-touching photographs. I often find myself wishing I could walk about with my own invisible PhotoShop filter. You know, so that when people saw me, age lines were removed, pounds gone and muscles toned. You know, so that I would look younger, thinner and taller. Maybe like, oh perhaps, Angelina Jolie.
I think they call that a miracle, but ’tis the season, isn’t it?