Sunday, November 2, 2008

Newspaper Deadlines, Bat-Crack-Crazy & AC/DC’s Highway to…

Against all odds, I survived another newspaper deadline.


I think I was screeching or squawking about something when one of the yearbook photographers thought he was being helpful by saying,“You couldn’t pay me enough money to do your job.”

I started to say, “Well, you couldn’t pay me enough either,” but you can see how ridiculously stupid that sounds and how it makes zero sense –which all goes to point out exactly how bat-crack-crazy things were and how sometimes even crazy things for a nano-second seem to make sense.

So, my friends, I give you just a small smidgen of…

The Bat-Crack-Crazy Things
(That Appear To Make Sense For A Nano-Second)
on newspaper deadline…

People’s Exhibit #1…I know we love our guns here in the Lone Star state, but did the Texas Parks & Wildlife Department really issue 12.5 million hunting licenses in 2008? Sadly, none of our proofreaders caught it and 24 hours went by before I said to myself, “OMG, self, that’s bat-crack-crazy! That can’t possibly be right. That would mean roughly one hunter for every two Texans. Jeez Louise! Go change it speedy quick.”

People’s Exhibit #2…What do you do when you need a kid for a photo illustration? Why just grab some random elementary school kiddo from the Halloween Carnival at school, of course. At least we didn’t trigger an Amber alert.

People’s Exhibit #3…My newspaper editor came rushing in breathless Halloween morning. Never mind that those four pages were still undone and the final printer deadline loomed a mere eight hours away. Never mind that she almost got hit by a mini-van (and, no, it wasn’t me) in the parking lot. Never mind that she had three hours of sleep, no breakfast and forgot her lunch. Never mind all that, Missy. The biggest calamity? In her rush to get to school, she forgot her new Halloween socks…oh, and her shoes, too.

People’s Exhibit #4…What do we do when we need statistical data for an infographic? Why, my friends, just take it from Wikipedia, of course. Akuracy? Who cares about ackuracy? We don’t need no stinkin’ ackyersee.

So after a week like that, is it really a coincidence that AC/DC’s new release “Black Ice” topped the charts this week? It rather coincided with that feeling I had about being on that Highway to… Well, all you rockers out there know the one I’m talkin’ about.


Melissa B. said...

Maybe your editor left her sox on the Highway to...?

Clix said...

Breathe, Richie, breathe!

And once your pulse rate returns to something NEAR normal, stop by, cuz I've passed an award on to ya!