Gummi Bears, Pumped Up Kicks & Things That Will Get You Fired

I knew last week would have a certain tinge of craziness to it. After all, it was Homecoming Week.

Let's just say, there was more than a just a tinge of craziness. In fact, that little tinge morphed into a full-court-press-5-alarm-commit-me-to-the-nuthouse kind of crazy.

Jeepers creepers, by the end of week, the helicopter parents landed, my principal made it on YouTube, I had not one, but two things to put in "My Things That Will Get You Fired" folder and the newspaper staff couldn't meet their deadlines.

I can't tell you about those helicopters buzzing about, but I can show you this little video of our principal that circulated around school and found its way on to YouTube. For those of you, you have access, the video is embedded below…

For those of you who don't, I guess you'll have to wait until you get home. Until then, here's a brief description: Our principal roller skates around school. He took a rather nasty spill in the hallway which, of course, was captured on the school's surveillance cameras. Apparently, he says he was felled by a wayward gummi bear that was stuck on the hallway floor.

If that's true, I think I had my share of wayward gummi bears sabotaging me and apparently stealing logic, reason and sanity.

During our current events discussion in my Journalism I class, one of the kiddos  brought in an article about a guy who plead guilty to trying to smuggle baby pythons and tortoise hatchings in his pants. When it came time for questions, here's how that conversation went…

Student… "How do you fit a tiny horse in your pants?"

Me… "What?"

Student… "Isn't that what she said? A tiny horse in his pants?"

The class… "Tortoise. She said, 'tortoise."

Student… "Oh, I heard tiny horse."

Me… "Oh…"

I'm not sure how we can blame those gummi bears on that one.

Then, of course, let's examine Exhibit #1 and Exhibit #2 for this year's "Things That Will Get You Fired" folder.

One of the editors showed me a photograph they wanted to run in the first issue of the school newspaper. The editor particularly liked how the dominant element was framed. Great. Always love it when they use those composition elements I taught them.

Unfortunately, the frame showed not one, not two, but three shots of cheerleaders jumping up in the air at a less than flattering angle. You know the kind I'm talkin' about. The kind that brings those angry mom calls. The kind that makes you have to stand on the carpet in the principal's office. The kind that goes into the "Things That Will Get You Fired Folder."

Yep, those kind.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, I decided to check out the entertainment page and read the critiques for our first issue.

One of those critiques was over that really popular song, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People. Yes, it has a snappy, catchy beat. Yes, it comes in at No. 3 on Billboard's Top 100 for the week of Sept. 24. And yes, I even bought the song. (I'm fond of any song that contains a line about "your hair's on fire.")  But…

Well, here's just a taste of the lyrics, "All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun. All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet."

How's that working for you?

Guns+Schools+Shootings=Things That Will Get You Fired

Do you see why this staff can't seem to meet their deadlines? I have a feeling it's going to be a long year. A very long year.

Oh yeah, in the midst of all of that, somewhere along the way, a camera turned up missing.

Missing as in no one is quite sure where it's at.

I'm hoping it will re-appear on Monday along with some sanity.