Painting, Staining & Complaining

[This article was first published as Home Remodeling Up 22 Percent on Technorati.]


Well, I’d like to report that I am surviving the renovations to the Denton beach house. Instead, I can honestly say that the score goes something like this–Denton Beach House 13–Richie 2.

I wonder how others are fairing in this home remodeling surge. According to the BuildFax Remodeling Index, remodeling is up 22 percent across the county as more and more homeowners opt to remodel their current homes, rather than purchasing new homes.
According to the Orange County Register, home remodeling is pretty much up in three out of four regions across the nation–up 21 percent in the West, 10 percent in the South and 9 percent in the Northeast. Only the Midwest showed a drop, down 11 percent.

Still, I find little comfort in those statistics. As I continue with my remodeling DIY journey, I have been forced to embrace the following truths…

#1… Despite my best attempts, I cannot paint a straight line. Now, don’t tell me about those nifty little tools they sell for $2.96 at the paint or home improvement stores. For me, they don’t work. For my BFF Jennifer, they don’t work. We apparently can’t see straight. Perhaps the root of this dates back to elementary school and my unwillingness (or inability) to stay within the lines.

#2… Oh, and forget about that blue tape. Are we the only ones who can’t get it to work correctly? By correctly I mean, yes, I can tape things up, but when I remove the tape, well, that’s a different story. I have yet to pull the tape without pulling off paint that I don’t want to pull off. And, again, it’s not just me either. Neither can my BFF or my daughter for that matter or her BFF either. I was going to ask our new buddy from the paint store about this little problem, but when we went in there yesterday, they told us he no longer worked there. I’m not sure if that’s true. There’s a part of me that believes he saw us coming and hid in the back.

#3… I don’t think I could ever fall back on being a painter as a secondary job choice. Hails bails, I don’t think I could even be hired as a painter’s apprentice. I think I would be lucky just to get a job stirring the paint. Still, there’s a secret part of me that would really relish being that person who names the paint. Who does that? Seriously. I could do that. Red Rush, Sierra Sunrise, Piggly Wiggly Pink.

#4… OK, so let’s forget about the paint. I am a little bit better at staining and not just the cabinets, but myself as well. I can’t tell you how many of those videos I watched over and over and over again. There’s not one smudge anywhere on those guys. But me? Well, let’s just say I had to throw away two sets of clothes.

#5… Home improvement stores stay in business because of people like me. People who make no fewer than three trips a day because we (a) forgot something (b) bought the wrong something (c) needed more of that something or (d) all of the above.

At the rate I’m going, I need another summer to recuperate from this summer.