I really thought I could make it to the new year without calling anybody a Big Fat Stupid Head.
I even debated whether shouting, "Big Fat Stupid Head" counts if you're all alone in your car, windows rolled up and no one there to hear you. It's kind of like that dumb philosophical question, "If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"
After some consideration, I decided that if I shouted, "You're a Big Fat Stupid Head" (which I did), but no one was around to hear it, it probably had to count.
Chalk it all up to Stinky Yellow School Bus #666 (*the bus number has been changed to protect the BFSH.)
Here's a ferret-on-crack version of the sordid incident:
I was driving down the road in my trusty mini-van when Stinky Yellow School Bus #666 pulled out in front of me. Now, I really don't care when a spiffy little red sports car pulls out in front of me because they tend to accelerate rather rapidly and don't slow me down.
But a big yellow school bus? Pah-leese.
Then, of course, after pulling out in front of me, Stinky Yellow School Bus #666 did what all big fat yellow school buses do. It spewed all sorts of toxic black smoke into the air that quickly circulated through my trusty little mini-van's vents.
And, as if all of that wasn't bad enough (and don't ya think it outta be?), Stinky Yellow School Bus #666 stopped (as required by law) at the train track that had crossing arms to look for the imaginery train because we certainly wouldn't want to get hit by one of those now would we?
Jeez Louise, it's not as if we're all running around in Mr. Roger's neighborhood with the trolley zipping us to the land of make believe. (Although at this point, I certainly wanted to be on Mr. Trolley speeding to the land of make believe.)
So that is how Stinky Yellow School Bus #666 made me shout, "Big Fat Stupid Head!" and why I had to make a special trip to Starbucks just to summon the energy to make it through another day--as if I needed an excuse to go there.
Since I seem to be a tad bit stressed with all this yearbook stuff due and the end of the semester looming, I decided that perhaps it would be best to start up the BFSH timer after New Year's Day.
Somehow I think it will make me less snarky and somewhat cheerier if I'm able to sing…
"Dashing through the streetsIn my trusty mini vanO'er the tracks we goshouting big fat stupid head all the way.Christmas break is closeMaking spirits brightWhat fun it is to laugh and sing
A Big Fat Stupid Head song tonight…"
I don't know about you, but I'm feeling better already.
[Reminder: The next Education Buzz will be here on Wednesday, Dec. 22 for our Christmas edition. Submission deadline will be 7 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 18. Please use this handy-dandy submission form. Then we will probably take a brief break until after the first of the year so that everyone can enjoy the their much-needed holiday break. If you are interested in hosting an edition of the Education Buzz, please let me know by emailing me at email@example.com.]