Back to School, Whoppers & Project Runway

Well it took exactly two days and 13 and half hours into the first week of school before the emergency Whoppers my BFF gave me disappeared.

I wish I could say they disappeared as in one of my hall buddies took them.

I wish I could say they disappeared as in aliens beamed those tasty malted treats up to a galaxy far, far away.

I wish I could say they disappeared as in I gave them out.

But no siree, Missy. They disappeared because, well, I ate them.

I ate them all. 

Every single one.

The thought of what that Emergency Chocolate Binge might foreshadow for the rest of the school year made me hyperventilate and made my head explode. (Now, the optimist in me believes it's possible that the sudden sugar surge caused all of that, but the pessimist in me… well, perhaps, we'll just leave it at that.)

Here's the shortened version of why…

Day 1…My photography classes were over-enrolled with 30 kiddos in first period and 34 kiddos in fifth period. (Both classes designed for only 20 kids because I only have 10 computers in the photo lab and the classroom holds no more than 25 desks.

No worries, they said. Not everyone will show. (Everyone showed but one.)  Everything will balance out, they said, when you check to see who really has a camera. (Camera check scheduled for Day 3.)

Opened the Emergency Whoppers. Ate a handful. Felt guilty. Went home. Walked two miles and then went to hot yoga to "balance out." Sweated and breathed my worries away.

Day 2…The one "No Show" showed.

Ate two handfuls of Whoppers. Felt slightly less guilty, slightly more queasy and slightly less hopeful. Went home. Walked two miles. Probably should have gone to yoga.

Day 3…Camera Check Day. In first period, 23 kiddos had the right camera. Took a deep breath, ate a handful of whoppers and decided we can make this work. Fifth period rolled around and 28 kiddos had cameras. Those Whoppers were toast.

In an effort to help determine who to remove from the class, I made the children write and tell me why I should let them stay. I stopped reading the papers when I got to one with a stick figure drawing. It looked like this…

And, that all rather made me feel like Heidi Klum, and not in a good way, so I went to the counseling office speedy quick and asked them to balance my photography classes with 25 in one and 26 in the other. I asked my principal for another desk and more computers.

We'll make it work, we decided, and I left feeling more like Project Runway's Tim Gunn (a much better feeling).

Still, I can't help but think I probably should have asked for a year's supply of Whoppers, too.