Last week was our big test-taking TAKS week here in the Lone Star state, but wouldn’t you know it there was lots of buzz throughout the EduSphere over tests, cheating and testy teachers.
Lucky me, I got to babysit part of the time and then administer the test the other two days. I’d tell you about it, but this stuff is so supersecret even CIA supersleuthes can’t crack it, and if I divulged any of this, well, I’d have to pull your liver out your nose.
So since the world appears to be in a test-taking frenzy, let’s just go with the flow here and use the test-takers motif. (And, for those non-literary types, I semi-sort of have a serious alliteration thing going, too. See how easily amused I am? Oh, and yes, I ripped the test idea from Mr. Teacher’s last week’s post “Are You More Cynical Than A Third Grader.”)
OK, OK, OK, let’s cut out the shenanigans and seriously get this shebang underway.
Directions: Read each question carefully and select the response that best answers the question.
in the political/religious/philosophical semi-serious musing category
a. Kinky Friedman
b. Larry Ferlazzo
c. Brouhaha? What’s a Brouhaha?!
d. Do you have a No. 2 pencil?
2. Attorney John Phillips offers his advice on…
(a) Teachers Gone Wild
(b) Mr. Teacher’s t-shirt sales
(c) Why Bellringers shouldn’t whack children with her rubber chicken
(d) Can I go to the bathroom?
3. Joanne Jacobs tells us about a successful San Diego school who implemented…
(a) the Webster Way
(b) My Way or the Highway
(c) What way?
(d) Can I sharpen my pencil?
4. On the political front, Matthew Tabor takes a peek at the Detroit City Council and the exchange between
(a) 8th grader Kierra Bell and Detroit City Council President pro tem Monica Conyers
(b) Shriek and Princess Fiona
(c) Can we write on the test?
(d) none of the above
5. The Columbus Education Association will commemorate the 25th anniversary of what event with a series of guest blogs:
(a) The Time Warp
(b) A Nation At Risk
(c) Did I mention I needed a pencil?
(d) None of the above
6. In case you forgot, this week is Teacher Appreciation week and in case you forgot why you teach, maybe you should…
(a) Eat an apple
(b) Read J.M. Holland’s “to the art of teaching”
(c) Sing Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out” (sorry, couldn’t resist)
(d) Get matching tattoos with the teacher next door
7. According to I Want To Teach Forever, here’s what teachers really want for Teacher Appreciation Week…
(a) a new job
(b) more professional development/teacher inservice (yeah, right)
(d) this stuff
8. If a=b and c=z and Led Zeppelin sings “Stairway to Heaven," then why is Andrew so grumpy?
(a) Who’s Led Zeppelin?
(c) rubbish (just because it’s fun to say, sorry, Andrew)
(d) because if you had to listen to this conversation about God, you would be too.
9. Who ends up working for free?
(a) Tween Teacher
(b) All teachers
(c) No teachers
(d) A & B
10. Who ends up serving at the pleasure of administrators?
(a) Why we all do, silly.
(b) Ms. Cornelius
(c) Alice Cooper
11. Who went to the Concerned Educators Against Forced Unionism conference?
(a) Alice Cooper
(b) Darren from Right on the Left Coast
12. The Eduwonkette takes a gander at the “New Teacher Project Report” and decides…
(a) You better read the fine print
(b) You better learn Mandarin Chinese
(c) Jeez Louise
(d) Where’s my pencil?
13. Bill Ferriter over at the Tempered Radical picks up the discussion over retaining good teachers in the classroom through…
(a) Teacher appreciation gifts & chocolate
(b) An Alice Cooper sing-a-long
(c) Something Loosey-Goosey
(d) re-designing compensation
14. And, Going to the Mat, opens this can of worms by talking about…
(a) Boat charters
(b) Map charters
(c) Charter Schools
(d) Charter buses
in the inside the classroom genre
(a) promoting his book
(b) promoting his t-shirts
(d) all of the above
16. According to NYC Educator (who btw hopes you disagree), what is the best to teach…
(d) A & C
17. Jim McGuire at the Reading Workshop asks what interesting question…
(a) Who am I and why am I here?
(b) Can I sharpen my pencil?
(c) Are texting, IM’ing, MySpace, Facebook, blogging and email ruining the next generation of writers, or will they make them the best ever?
(d) Just how many t-shirts has Mr. Teacher sold and why hasn’t he sent me one?
18. Should the Scholastic Scribe slap some serious punishment on little Miss Sophomore for
(a)putting on make up in class
(b) using words off the Yuck list
(c) attempting to cheat
(d) Who me? I wasn’t talkin’ Miss.
19. Need some pointers on how to how to teach speaking, then
(a) Eat some chocolate (sorry I was hungry)
(b) Go see Eric at Teachers Call
(c) Miss, why can’t we talk?
(d) Where’s Willy and why is he nilly?
20. How is logic like whiskey?
(a) You can set them both on fire.
(b) Ask Humpty Dumpty
(c) Check out Let’s Play Math
(d) 1+1x2x1 gajillion
21. If you need some info on open source tools math, then you should
(a) Check out Teaching College math
(b)Run away before your head explodes
(c)Can you give me another eraser?
22. And keeping with the math and I’m-so-stupid theme, I included IB a Math Teacher’s math bingo because…
(a) I pretend to know math
(b) I pretend to like math
(c) I pretend to understand math humor
(d) all of the above
23. Did the Middle School Monkeys survive the China experiment?
(a) yes, but barely
(b) where’s China?
(c) No one told me I had to learn geography
(d) Where’s the rubber chicken?
24. What is the purpose of going to school?
(a) to drive your teacher crazy
(b) to borrow as many #2 pencils as possible
(c) to get an education
(d) to learn to…
25. Who am I, why am I here and can I really remember 90 percent of what I’ve taught?
(b) not sure
(c) what was the question?
(d) See what Mathew Needleman has to say
26. According to Ms. M, the lunches in Mississippi are…
(a) so delicious & fan-tab-u-lous
(c) rather disgusting
(d) lunch? did someone mention lunch?
27. The Science Goddess…
(a) finally “gets it” when it comes to technology
(b) encourages a revolution of sorts
(c) A & B
(d) Whoa, what about that lunch thing?
28. Clix over at Epic Adventures Are Often Uncomfortable…
(a) had such an easy week she sat around and ate bon-bons
(b) had such a difficult week that me-myself-and-I actually felt sorry for her
(c) wants to know where the appreciation is in Teacher Appreciation
(d) Jeez Louise
29. Homeschooler Missy talks about…
(a) witnessing history
(b) life in the middle
(c) the importance of witnessing her children’s milestones
(d) all of the above
Well, Jeez Louise, I’m about red-eyed and just about cross-eyed from reading a gajillion submissions this time. I hope you did well on this little test, and if not, well, just blame a teacher…and next time make sure they teach to the test.
Now don’t forget to send next week’s submissions to the Education Carnival which will be hosted by Instructify. You can use this handy, dandy form.
And as usual…
And, if I did, my apologies. Until next time…