Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Workshops, Bill Cosby and Dancing Food

Call it challenging. Call it crazy. Call it dumb.

I just want to call it a day.

But no siree, Missy. I'm still here.

At a workshop.

With 22 kids.

Oh, and let’s not forget the 500 or so kiddos from other high school newspaper and yearbook staffs.

So call me just a tad perplexed when I read recently that comedian Bill Cosby said, “We’ve got to get people into the system who want to teach. We need principals who want to train teachers. In the name of God, or anyone else you believe in, 420 students need more than one counselor. Our children deserve better.”

Hey, Bill, in the name of God, or anyone else you believe in, what do you call this?

While I admit I would rather be sitting by the pool with my husband, swimming with my dogs, reading one of those books still stashed on my “books to read if only I can find the time” shelf and eating chips and salsa, well I’m here, aren’t I? And what about the 60 other journalism teachers here? I’m pretty sure they’re at this workshop because they want and love to teach.

Now before all you Cosby lovers and Richie hatas get all worked up into a tizzy, let me assure you that I love Bill Cosby. I’m just not sure it’s ever a good thing to toss everyone into the same generic teacher bashing grab bag.

Sure we have our moments. Hails bails, I have my moments. Sure there are those in the education profession that should have opted for a job somewhere flipping hamburgers instead of standing in front of a classroom of kids. Sometimes I even think I’d make a pretty good dancing hot dog, or better yet, one of those Chick-fil-A dancing cows. (Now, that’s a scary image.)

That one little remark by Bill Cosby really got me into a full court-press-5-alarm-dizzy-tizzy-frenzy. And because of that, I came up with this…

Richie’s Top 5 Jobs
She Could Do
If She Decides
To Ditch The Teaching Thing

No. 5…Dancing Food…A Chick-fil-A cow, a Route 44 Sonic drink or an Oscar Mayer Wiener. How fun would that be? Think about it. You’d never have to figure out what to wear to work. Now, on the down side, it might be just a tad challenging to drive to work encased in a Sonic cup, and perhaps just a smidge warm in a hot dog suit. We also have to consider my dancing ability, too. For those of you familiar with that or my sad little foray into the Zumba dancing world, well, such a job would probably be short lived. (You can read about that here.)

No. 4…Sandwich Sign Girl… We’ve all seen them standing on the corner. No silly, not those girls. I’m talking about the people wearing the “Going Out of Business Signs” placards. I could do that, and as an added bonus, no dancing required.

No. 3…Clicker Counter… Even though I am certifiably math challenged, I think I could still manage to click one of those counters when things pass by. Things like cars. I could sit in a little lawn chair by the side of the road with my glass of lemonade, some chips and salsa, and click, click, click away. I’d need an umbrella, of course. And maybe a little kiddy pool to keep my feet cool. And perhaps even a little lemonade stand on the side for those passersby who want to chat and sit a spell, but I'd probably end of chatting too much and clicking too little, so that job option might not last either.

No. 2…Flag Changer… Although I’ve never actually seen it done, someone must change the warning flags on the beach when conditions change. Bluish flags for jelly fish type warnings or yellow for calm to moderate waters. I could sit at the ready, flags by my side, lemonade in hand, and of course, chips and salsa for sustenance. I could probably even read some of those books from my “books to read if only I can find the time” shelf while I’m waiting to change those warning flags.

But the No. 1 job on my list…can I have a drum roll pah-leese…

Paint Color Namer…Yep. Paint Color Namer…My friend Mary (the Queen Bee of high school journalism advisers) came up with that one. Somewhere there is a person who has to name the color of paint. You know, things like “Steamed Milk” and “Saybrook Sage.” I could do that. Hails bails, I could do that sitting by my pool, eating chips and salsa, swimming with my dogs, all the while coming up with color names like Jack Shepherd Tan, Chilpotle Speckled Red or Wild Willy Weeds. See what I mean?

I could do that, but as funnyman Cosby said, “Our children deserve better.”

So I guess I'll stay right here…with my 22 kiddos and the other 60 advisers and their kids. That color naming gig is just going to have to wait.

(Writer’s note-A version of this post originally appeared at BlogCritics.org.)


Clix said...

*grin* Cosby means that we need more teachers LIKE you, Richie!

Have fun at camp ;D

askthehomediva said...

Ah, you're too nice!

Kelley said...

Then there are those of us who are out of the classroom that miss it terribly.