Saturday, January 19, 2008

Semester Exemptions, Counting Computers & Singing Kanye West (Again)

The semester ended this week, and with it, came all the frenzy drama you would expect–trying to figure out test exemptions: exempt if passing and only one unexcused absence or with an 85 average and two unexcused absences or no more than six tardies because two tardies count as an unexcused absence and don’t forget the 5 point deduction for each tardy on the high school participation grade, then do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around.

Do you see why my head still hurts? I think it exploded and some of the important gray matter stuff leaked out–especially the part in the brain cortex that deals with patience.

Jeez Louise. I swear I started singing, “…Take this hatersN-n-now th-that that don't kill me Can only make me stronger…” I would have sang all of that Kanye West song, but those of you who have been following my blog know that that particular song is filed in my “Things that will get you fired” folder.

Of course, all of this was mixed in with the steady stream of yearbook pages that came due. And naturally, we’re in the midst of another newspaper deadline, plus we have to start recruiting for next year’s staff, and then, why not throw in an evaluation walk-through… but, OMG, I’m starting to whine.

So let’s just sum up my week with this little narrative, anecdotal ditty…

I’m on the phone talking to the head of the technology department about upgrading our software when he asked how many computers we needed licensing for. About that time, one of the yearbook section editors walked in so I asked him to go into the publications room and the photo lab to count the computers.

“Do you want me to count all of them,” he shouted from the adjoining room.

“Oh my gosh,” I yelled back, “No, just count half of them, or better yet, why not just count all the ones on the right side. Jeez Louise.”

Of course, the technology director tried unsuccessfully to muffle his laughter.

“You see now why my world is like the Amelia Bedelia of teaching? Do ya see now?” I asked somewhat exasperated.

After that little incident, I thought I’d try something that guaranteed some level of success and a mild feeling of accomplishment–I started to print all of next semester’s rosters so I would be ready to go next week. (OK, OK, so it was a vain attempt to appear somewhat organized.) And, oh dear, there it was on my class rolls, right there, out of nowhere, sandwiched between my sections of yearbook and newspaper–Technical Theater I.

Hmmmm. Well, hails bails, I’ve never taught theater before although I do act out from time to time.

I must admit for just a fleeting moment or two I did think about how much fun I could have parading around in all those costumes. (Come on now, is that such a stretch? Geewillikers, have you forgotten I have the tiara? Still, I don’t think the wearing of a tiara qualifies one as a “highly qualified” teacher, do you? And, I’m pretty sure I have a hammer stashed around here somewhere.)

For a second (OK, OK, maybe a minute or so), I gave it some thought before I emailed our counselors about the scheduling glitch.

Perhaps, I was a bit hasty. Once we get off newspaper deadline next week, I’ll let you know if maybe, just maybe, I should have kept that costume option. I think running around the building incognito could actually have had some advantages. Now, if I can just find that hammer…


Kim said...

With all you have going on, let me be the first to congratulate you on going nearly three whole weeks without calling anyone "Big Fat Stupid Head". I don't know that I would have such restraint!

Anonymous said...

I must really be old because I didn't know anyone could ever be excused from taking a test- what's up with that?

And since misery loves company, only government related, stock market and a very few corporations closed to observe civil rights leader Martin Luther King yesterday.

Kevin C said...

I hate to break it to you, but Technical Theater involves very little parading around in costumes. Technical Theater is building sets, stage management, lighting, sound, etc. It's the stuff the people in neck-to-toe black clothing do, because we're crazy in that particular way. So maybe it's a good thing you didn't keep the glitch on your schedule, because that tiara would probably stand out too much during a low-light scene change.

askthehomediva said...

Ah Kevin, you're no fun… Don't you think the Tech Theater people parade around just a bit for sport–in costumes? Say it ain't so!

But never you mind, I look good in black… However, I don't know that I want to ditch the tiara–yet. I think I'll just stick with what I know best. ;-)

Kevin C said...

I guess I didn't make it clear that I was a Tech Theater person, although I never actually took a class in it. It was on a volunteer basis, if you can believe that piece of insanity.

Actually, Tech Theater people tend to think thespians are slightly nuts with their bright clothing and big-enough-to-wake-up-the-snoring-man-in-the-last-row personalities. Instead they (techs) like to see if they can hide in plain sight, live for the back-of-the-program credits, and have long conversations about which gel (the cellophane inserts that change the light colors) to use or - gasp! - combining gels.

Sometimes you get crossovers, such as myself and my ex-wife, but those types often act as translators between two different co-existent worlds.