Semester Exemptions, Counting Computers & Singing Kanye West (Again)

The semester ended this week, and with it, came all the frenzy drama you would expect–trying to figure out test exemptions: exempt if passing and only one unexcused absence or with an 85 average and two unexcused absences or no more than six tardies because two tardies count as an unexcused absence and don’t forget the 5 point deduction for each tardy on the high school participation grade, then do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around.

Do you see why my head still hurts? I think it exploded and some of the important gray matter stuff leaked out–especially the part in the brain cortex that deals with patience.

Jeez Louise. I swear I started singing, “…Take this haters…N-n-now th-that that don't kill me Can only make me stronger…” I would have sang all of that Kanye West song, but those of you who have been following my blog know that that particular song is filed in my “Things that will get you fired” folder.

Of course, all of this was mixed in with the steady stream of yearbook pages that came due. And naturally, we’re in the midst of another newspaper deadline, plus we have to start recruiting for next year’s staff, and then, why not throw in an evaluation walk-through… but, OMG, I’m starting to whine.

So let’s just sum up my week with this little narrative, anecdotal ditty…

I’m on the phone talking to the head of the technology department about upgrading our software when he asked how many computers we needed licensing for. About that time, one of the yearbook section editors walked in so I asked him to go into the publications room and the photo lab to count the computers.

“Do you want me to count all of them,” he shouted from the adjoining room.

“Oh my gosh,” I yelled back, “No, just count half of them, or better yet, why not just count all the ones on the right side. Jeez Louise.”

Of course, the technology director tried unsuccessfully to muffle his laughter.

“You see now why my world is like the Amelia Bedelia of teaching? Do ya see now?” I asked somewhat exasperated.

After that little incident, I thought I’d try something that guaranteed some level of success and a mild feeling of accomplishment–I started to print all of next semester’s rosters so I would be ready to go next week. (OK, OK, so it was a vain attempt to appear somewhat organized.) And, oh dear, there it was on my class rolls, right there, out of nowhere, sandwiched between my sections of yearbook and newspaper–Technical Theater I.

Hmmmm. Well, hails bails, I’ve never taught theater before although I do act out from time to time.

I must admit for just a fleeting moment or two I did think about how much fun I could have parading around in all those costumes. (Come on now, is that such a stretch? Geewillikers, have you forgotten I have the tiara? Still, I don’t think the wearing of a tiara qualifies one as a “highly qualified” teacher, do you? And, I’m pretty sure I have a hammer stashed around here somewhere.)

For a second (OK, OK, maybe a minute or so), I gave it some thought before I emailed our counselors about the scheduling glitch.

Perhaps, I was a bit hasty. Once we get off newspaper deadline next week, I’ll let you know if maybe, just maybe, I should have kept that costume option. I think running around the building incognito could actually have had some advantages. Now, if I can just find that hammer…